Yes I am plotting. I’m not plotting a new novel, I have plenty of thsoe to work on. I”m not plotting a cemetary into individual graves for the dead horse – that’s just futile. What I am plotting however is a Grand Mayan end of the World Party!
Yes that’s right! Prince was a little premature in his “Party like it’s 1999″ song. The purple years have passeed without incident. Now, however even the national weather bureau is talking of the mayan calender ending summarily on December 21st. Perhaps my zombie horse was a predictor, it does say in the Bible that the dead shall rise in the end times. Hmmmm.
Regardless, we’ve decided that a grand festive Mayan party is in order. Hot chocolate will be served, as will a giant chocolate fountain to cover whatever you will, even the cute guy in the corner! (That’s right I’m talking to you!) Chocolate coins will be plentiful as the Mayans were rich with gold, and er, chocolate. Tortilla chips and salsa will be upon every table, and a tequila fountain flowing in the front corner. Other refreshments will be made available I am just undecided at the moment.
One of those “yule logs” will be burning on the computer screen where the great effigy sacrifice will be made to the jaguar god. A paper effigy pattern will be made available, so that the guests may attach whoever’s picture on it that they are going to offfer in sacrifice. At a specified time, effigies will be offered in mass burning on the yule log to appease the great jauguar god and hopefully delay the end of the the world. If that doesn’t work we will offer 10% of the Twinkie stash that was hidden for post apocolyptic survival.
I’m sure some hackers out there somewhere will come up with a Mayan trojan or some other virus to destroy laptops and tablets. I have no such deviousness planned. Simply a last chance party. Last chance to live it up if it truly is the end. Last change to believe that perhaps the Mayans really knew what they were doing an they didn’t die off becausee some other tribe killed them. I always thought perhaps the calendar maker died and no one else knew how to finish, then of course the Spaniards came in and took over.
Whatever reason, I’m really tired of this whole end of the world thing. Here’s a news flash – none of us get out of here alive! I know sounds like a pessimistic view but it’s not. Everyone has to die eventually. It’s all just part of the great circle of life. (cue the Lion King music) While everyone is refusing to attend a myriad of holiday parties for religious reasons, my party will be the smash hit of all time – becasue it’s the LAST party of all time! ROFL The end of the world does not discriminate for race, creed, color, sex, sexual preference, religious views, or age.
Tribal dancing, effigy sacrifices, mass consumption of chocolate – what can possibly go wrong with that? Let the tequila fountain flow!
Write on while you can my friends, write on!