Ever have those days when your best laid plans go horribly awry? It seems to be the running gag throughout my life.
I have these ideas and they sound so wonderful at the time. My impulsive nature acts on them often before I think things through. Sight gags are often funnier than written comedy but bear with me, I think you’ll find the humor.
We want to think about the good side of relationships; the romance, the love, companionship, stuff like that. However my life isn’t so picture perfect as a happily ever after tale. Opposites attract. It’s like polar opposites and sparks fly. In the bedroom – va va va voom. I daily life – sparks fly there as well. Let’s just say make up sex is a great thing. Two people of different personalities living in the same house, day in and day out are bound to have conflict.
Conflict leads to resolution, resolution to the make up session. Ideally.
I had a vision of inspiration, and acted. As Valentine’s Day is fast approaching I thought it best to clear the air, and get our differences resolved. The kids were at a sleepover; the house was clean; I put on romantic inspiring music as I worked. The new satin sheets were on the bed, rose petals spread on the bed, the candles lit throughout the house. I put on what I considered to be my most flattering lingerie and sexy high-heeled shoes. I added my best jewelry, and greeted him at the door with two glasses of chilled merlot in my hands.
Surprised wouldn’t exactly be the expression I was greeted with as he came in through the garage. The table was set, the steak was ready to serve and I stood with wine in hand wearing the lingerie and an apron. I’m happy to say the dinner was a success. We talked between bites and cleared the air about our issues. That was a good thing.
While I cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher, he took a shower. I removed the apron and headed down the hall with my refilled glasses. I leaned against the door frame, trying to strike the seductive pose as I admired the view on the bed. It went sharply downhill from there. I didn’t see the jeans laying in the floor as I stepped forward, tripping myself in the process. My ankle twisted in the 4 inch heel, and I lunged forward throwing the wine on him and the bed. When I fell on the satin sheets I slid across the end of the bed to the other side. I grazed his leg as I passed so technically we did touch. When my butt made contact with the floor m head made contact with the dresser drawer at the same time the glass I still held in my hand made contact with the wood and shattered cutting my hand.
Quite the romantic aren’t I? What a mess! What was intended to be a romantic evening ended up being an embarrassing trip to the emergency room. After I put on more appropriate clothing and he showered again to remove the wine, we sat in the emergency room for hours.
We can laugh about it now, especially with the pain meds. Hope your plans work out better.