Overcoming Emotions

This is an excerpt from the presentation I’m doing for Saturday’s seminar.  The entire presentation is called Soul Matters: Your Mind, Will, and Emotions.

The root source of the term emotions comes from the Latin ex mocrere; which means to move away.  Isn’t that what we do when we allow ourselves to be overcome by our emotions?  We move away from rational thought, move away from our balanced being?

Nobody will ever reach a point in life of not experiencing a wide variety of emotions.  Our job is not to get rid of those emotions but to learn to manage them.  Instead of throwing ourselves down and having a temper tantrum like a two-year old, we have to learn to reign in our feelings and communicate in a more mature manner.  How many examples of bad behavior do we really need to see on tv anyway?

Do you think that anyone on Jersey Shore would last a minute in a board room meeting? I don’t, they’d be laughed at and escorted out of the building.

Here’s a few observations pertaining to emotions:

  • Typically women show emotions more than men.
  • phlegmatic show the least emotions of the four temperament groups. (Reference: Tim La Haye; Why We Do the Things We Do.
  • Sanguines show the most emotions of the four temperaments.
  • Melancholics have the most problems with depression – they are deep thinkers.

It’s not an easy thing to overcome your emotions, but it’s possible.   Emotionalism is being dominated by your emotions.  Think about the drama queens you know.  Everything is to the extremes and they are led by the rollercoaster of their emotions.

One of the keys to overcoming your emotions is honesty.  Be honest with yourself.  Get gut level real and examine why you feel the strong emotional reactions.  this is the beginning to understanding and eventually being able to control your emotions instead of allowing them to control you.

There are two things that can handicap us in the development of our emotions.  Abuse and responsibility put on us at too young of an age.

Abuse  can be in different forms: verbal, physical, sexual, and mental.  All of these forms hinder our developing psyche, but sexual abuse is the most damaging, causing shame within our sense of self.

Abuse to a deep thinker sets them up for a lifetime of performance orientation. they never enjoy life.  They feel they have to be perfect to earn the right to enjoy anything.  To a strong-willed person it can cause a reaction of rebellion and distrust.  Rebellion as a statement that they will never allow another person to control them in any way, and distrust of ever allowing another person to get close enough to be able to hurt them.

OCD, or obsessive compulsive disorder often stems from abuse.  It’s not the only cause but it can certainly manifest from abuse.  It’s a control issue, an area that the person feels they can control where control was taken from them in the abusive situation.

Abuse robs a person of their childhood.  The same thing happens when a child is saddled with a burden of responsibility that they are too young to handle. Not being allowed to play robs a person of their childhood.

All of these things cause a person to constantly be on edge, they don’t know how to relax.  They don’t enjoy life, always waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Perhaps they waited with baited breath to see of daddy was in a good mood when he came home each day.

They make a mental to-do list for a single day that would require a team of four people to accomplish in a week, then beat themselves up for not being able to accomplish everything.  Then in self punishment, they haven’t earned the right to relax and have any fun.  Is it any wonder high blood pressure is such an issue in our society?

We have to learn to relax and let our inner child come out and play.  Relearn a better way to process the garbage in our lives so that the emotions don’t reign over us.

What are some characteristics of a child?

  • They have fun no matter what they do.  You can put a child in the corner and they will make a game of it by counting the flowers on the wallpaper.
  • If you tell a child to sweep – they’ll be dancing with the broomstick while they work, maybe .  They may just forget they were suppose to sweep.
  • Children have imagination!  Grownups forget how to use their imaginations and get stuck in ruts, going through the daily grind.
  • Children laugh.  Have you laughed today?
  • By nature, children are uncomplicated, simple.  We add dimensional complications to our lives by our own psychological malfunctions.  We need to get back to our simpler selves!

Let your inner child come out to play once in a while and it just may help to get a handle on the emotions.  It’s ok to feel.  Sometimes it hurts, but sometimes it’s great.  Trying times are learning times and through learning to relax and allow yourself to be human,  we learn to manage our emotions.

Adults are just kids with wrinkles.  Smiling causes fewer wrinkles than frowning.

We have to develop a tougher skin as we mature, learn to manage the mean kids in our lives.  We don’t have to become autonomous zombies.  Although if we referenced ourselves as zombies it might cause our teens to be more interested in what we say.  OK, maybe not!

Maturity doesn’t mean we have to become grumpy old people.  It means we become  responsible adults. Responsibility doesn’t have to be boring and sedate.  I’m fighting the aging thing every step of the way. One of the ways to do this is by releasing the inner child!  Life suddenly becomes a game, one that I can win.  Because I set the rules to my game, and I control the moves of the game.  I’ve already won, it’s just a matter of crossing that finish line and getting the blue ribbon prize!