Spring Is In The Air

Most people think spring has finally arrived when they can shed their coats,  and go bare-armed outdoors. The appearance of skin on other parts becomes  prevalent as well. Others think when the forsythia is yellow it is definitely  spring. I want to let you know of an absolutely definite way to determine that  yes, spring has arrived.

It’s not the jonquils, although they are up. It’s not the forsythia, although  they are beautiful. It’s not the “peepers” heavenly chirping after the long hard  winter. It’s not even the calendar date of the vernal equinox — the “official”  start of spring. My absolute fail-safe method involves the sense of smell. Spring has most definitely arrived. The anticipation is killing you so I’ll cut  to the chase.

The skunks are on the move. That’s right, it’s skunk mating season. I can’t  go a mile without running across the remains of some poor massacred skunk in  amorous pursuit of a female. The sad bit is he probably never got to finish the  job. While the grass is greening and the trees are budding, the skunks are  stinking up the place.

In the Disney classic, “Bambi”, Owl makes the observation of Flower the  skunk, Thumper and eventually Bambi, that they were “twitter-pated.” It had  nothing to do with Facebook or tweeting, it was a coined word for “love is in  the air.” In the case of Flower, Pepe le Pew, and all other skunks, love must  involve stink.

Pheromones are the chemicals responsible for the attraction of one to  another. My personal preferences run more along the lines of Irish Spring and  Aramis. Deer can scent a female for miles. Dogs instantly know when  there’s a female in heat within a five-mile radius. Our sense of smell isn’t  quite so refined. This is why we have drug sniffing dogs not humans. Although  some people try, but that’s a different thing entirely.

It’s true that you can often smell the B.O. of an individual three aisles  over in the grocery store, but I am repulsed not attracted to it. This leads us  to the next season, summer. Ever notice the volume of stink from sweaty people  increases exponentially?

But I digress from my point of the numerous skunks killed on our roadways.  Spring is a time for new adventure. Every day becomes potentially dangerous. A  simple drive in the fresh country air can become a lethal toxic assault on your  olfactory senses. These little guys have saved up all winter, and it’s some  potent stuff. It brings tears to my eyes; tears of pain that is.