Yesterdays post of Vampires! was cathartic for me. I’m ecstatic at the feedback I’ve received. It’s a great feeling to know that there are other people dealing with the same issues, and satisfying to hear that they’ve dealt with the same things.
It’s always a hard decision to cut someone off even if they are detrimental to your own success. It was a move that needed to be made and even though I felt guilty for doing it, it was cleansing almost instantaneously. It cleared the cobwebs and dust out of those cluttered corners of my mind, allowing me to focus once again on my passion – my writing.
I started slow, I had to get re-aquainted with my heroine and hero. I’d been preoccupied and neglecting them due to my vampire relationship. I made apologies, reconnected and gave them my undivided attention. It was awkward for the first twenty minutes. I was feeling doubtful, uncomfortable, like the employee that got promoted then demoted back to the original position.
I had to walk away for a bit. In fact, I took it outdoors to a park. A fruit slushy, a notebook and a couple of pens – different colors of course, and I was ready for the self talk. I think the fresh air really helped clear my mind. I began jotting down notes, which led to more notes. My thoughts began to link together, like a crocheted afghan.
Let me explain: weaving combines many threads laced together. Crocheting has one thread that builds upon itself, interlocking each row onto the next, building precepts upon precepts, until the final project is a warm fuzzy blanket with intricate details. It’s also similar to a Celtic design that is a continuous design, showing no beginning or end but flows together in a delightful design.
I had one ear bud in listening to some tunage, while I could still hear my surroundings.
Stronger by Kelly Clarkson played. Determinate by Lemonade Mouth was followed by Pearl Jam, Lenny Kravits and some Aerosmith. I made some more notes, a giddiness coming over me at the simplistic yet seemingly complex story line created a picture in my head.
Hit Me With Your Best Shot put some steel in my heroine’s spine. Skillet, Linkin Park, and Evanescence contributed in cheering me forward. But when Ann and Nancy Wilson from Heart started belting out Kick It Out; suddenly all pistons were firing and the gears were meshing. I was rockin’ it! OK, well the groups were rockin’ the music and their music was rockin’ my muse. The eighties music brought back memories of fun times and a lighter outlook on life. I glanced at my phone for the time, then flipped through my pages of notes. I had twelve pages of hand written notes, laced with circles doodles, arrows, numbers linking points and underlined passages. It was now time to pick up the kids and go home to carry on with family life until I could rendezvous with my laptop.
Excitement buzzed in my ear – no wait that was a wasp. Excitement coursed through my veins, my fingers itching to tap the keys, I gathered my things and walked back to my car.
It was a couple of hours later when I got to sit down with my laptop and put the pieces together in my story. The words flowed from my brain through my fingers over my keyboard in a magical way. I was in the zone! I haven’t been in the zone like that for nearly a month. Everything was coming together, the words, the characters, the sensory descriptions; all of them cooperating as the scene built to a symphonic crescendo, chiming the climax like that last note that rings through the concert hall.
A perfect moment when the doubts and the “head gremlins” were silenced. I was breathing in short little pants, as my fingers stilled, allowing my eyes to skim the words I’d just composed. I had rocked it! Fist pump!!
It’s times like this when I know that I know I’m a writer, and that one day I will achieve the success in my writing. I will achieve my dreams.