An English Gentleman

You may have noticed that I didn’t get my Wonderful Women Writer series guest posted yesterday.  The previous post for those paying attention was a bit of foreshadowing on the matter.   See what I did there? I love it when the “story-spinner” turns chaos into usable material.  That’s my story anyway and I’m sticking with it!

Moving on:  Women Writers will continue through July!  (Yeah!  The crowd cheers loudly!)  I will also have some guests that are in the industry but not necessarily writers.  Thank you for the overwhelming response, it seems I’ve struck on a good idea.  You guys rock!

Today I’m handing things over to a friend.  We met during NaNoWriMo, as with several of my online writer friends.  I have truly found a family of support within the writing community.  I have the best online friends anyone could have! This particular friend is a great encouragement to me.  He is witty, charming, and has sparked many creative ideas.  He would tell you he’s cynical, but don’t let him fool you.  He’s quite the romantic at heart and well, since I am writing about fantasy, love, and romance I thought it might be good to get some input from a romantic gentleman!

On Being Ill, Writing, and Long Distance Relationships



 I have Cerebral Palsy and this condition makes certain parts of my life interesting. Even with painkillers sleeping can be shitty, it’s a pain but in some ways it is a benefit. I can write in peace through the dark hours without meaningless bullshit interruptions, phone calls from telesales pukes for example, even though making them cry can be an amusing hobby.  Similarly asking what they are wearing in a breathy voice or answering in fluent German can be entertaining. Working at home means that there are days where you do nothing productive as because you are home, friends, neighbours and family just drop in, knock, or beg favours because “you’re home all day of course you have time.” You have to schedule around stuff like the expectations that you can sign for parcels, wash clothes, iron and clean because being home all day the housework is obviously your responsibility. If I had the money I would rent an office just to avoid it, thank heavens that the traditional British publican has embraced words like E-cig and WiFi. I can drink and smoke in a little local pub that is older than the U.S. constitution as well as my writing and blogging.

E-cigs for those of you unfamiliar with the term are devices that heat a liquid suspension of nicotine with an atomizer to create a steam that is inhaled using a base liquid much like those used in nightclub smoke machines, being tobacco and burn free they generally are exempted from indoor smoking bans and have none of the toxic chemicals found in conventional or “analog” products.  The big drug companies hate them and so they have funded scare stories to frighten and misinform such as hyping up the fact that a trace of a base chemical in antifreeze was found in one cartridge. The fact that this chemical is the bit that stops antifreeze from jellifying and is a component of most liquid medicines is ignored in order to fuel fear. Personally I use an “ego-t” style device because the ones that look like real cigs don’t hold a big enough battery and I get annoyed when the battery dies. The best thing for me is I can go from forest fruits to a rich Cuban cigar simply by changing the liquid I use, I can even do a full three course meal of flavour if so inclined.  Start with an herbes de provence blend followed with a smoky bacon or a roast beef or if you are truly adventurous a clam and for dessert a blackberry cobbler followed by a thick rich espresso.  But moving on…

The real advantage to not sleeping though the pain is that it allows me to easily contact the woman I love, the woman I am writing this guest blog piece about in some respects.  She is my inspiration, my rock, she probably won’t ever log into this website and read this but I am playing the bragging boyfriend now talking about the love of my life.

Her being in the USA and me being based in blighty could be seen as a huge hardship and put a lot of stress on a relationship.  However, with the access I have to modern technology and being on a non standard schedule it means that I can be online at say 3am my time and be chatting to her and swapping silly little ‘ILU’s’, messages, notes about our days and the occasional steamier message.  It does mean that she has to put up with me dropping off when the nightly sedatives kick in, but we manage as best we can.  Most of my best writing is done with her beside me.  It’s almost as if we are there but rather than the fog of her breath in the cold room, it’s this orangish almost ethereal glow as my screen flashes with her missive. The air foggy with “smoke” that smells like the forest fruits liquid I use to carry my addiction,  I can almost imagine rather than the laptop battery warming my body it’s her body heat as she snuggles into my arms. We have never met in person but we have had around 6 months of nightly chats and shared intimacy to the point where we are writing together on a project that may soon be published. Sex when it comes; we will be fumbling first time lovers but we know each other, know each other’s bodies, know what makes us moan or gasp. We know how and when to nudge and caress, when to plunge hard and bite.  We know what and when we need and we do our best with each other and for each other.

We write, sleep, eat, bathe, shower and work together and I wouldn’t ever lose that. It’s just we do it currently through fibre optic cables carrying our messages as blips of light into the unknown, but I do not and cannot see our relationship being changed negatively by it becoming physical rather than digital.

Some day soon my love!

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.