Breaking the Language Barrier

Scientists have deciphered the language from the Rosetta stone and determined how to read hieroglyphics.

They used cryptology to crack enemy messages during WWII.  Yet, the language barrier between the sexes remains. What we really need is an Ap for our phones that will decipher the language differences of the sexes.  This would be the hottest selling gadget ever produced! I can see it now – millions of dollars rolling in from sales.

A typical exchange of  “What do you want to do tonight?” can result in a huge fight.

When a guy says “What do you want to do?”  What he’s really saying is: I don’t really care what we do, as long as we spend time together. I just want to be with you.”

When a woman says “What do you want to do?” What she’s really saying is: “I want you to decide, and take me somewhere exciting. I ‘m waiting for you to be romantic and know that I want to be treated special and besides you should know by now what I like to do.  HMMMMMPH!”

The outcome often ends up “Fine, we’ll just stay home.”  “Fine”

When a guy says “What’s for supper?”  What he’s really saying is “ I’m hungry.”

When a woman hears “What’s for supper?”  It’s Russian roulette.  It could mean “That smells good, what is it? I’m hungry!”  It could mean “Why haven’t you started supper yet?”  It could mean “Do you really expect me to eat that?”  Or it could be an opportunity if she hasn’t started supper to be treated to dinner out.  Round and round the chamber goes, where it stops only the hormones know.

*Caution to all men, one or more of the chambers are loaded.*

   How do you know when it’s safe?  It’s not.

When a guy says “ I don’t have anything to wear.”  This means he has no clean clothes, or no appropriate clothes.  This could lead to an argument either way, so men never voice this.  Instead, they put on the clothes they wore yesterday and avoid confrontation.  The topic of laundry has proven to be  a minefield.  Yesterday’s shirt is less dangerous, even if it does stink.

When a woman says “I don’t have anything to wear.”  What this really means is there is nothing new in her closet.  She’s tired of the same clothes.  She wants something new, something fresh.  In other words, “I’m going shopping honey, and I’m getting new clothes.  I want you to come and tell me what looks pretty on me and what doesn‘t make my butt look big.”

A 12-volume compendium could be zipped into one handy-dandy little ap with a pink icon for cell phones.  Instant interpretation would let the man know if his best bet is to lay down and play dead, or present arms filled with roses.

I would be richer than Oprah! Possibly even richer than Bill Gates!  It would be the sensation of the century, and I would have millions of fans!

However, there’s a kink in the basic algorithm.  The trouble is, it also depends on the particular woman.  I’m working on it.

Write on my friends, write on!