The Hard Decisions


Yeserday I lamented about others; today I am lamenting about personal issues – the critical choices we have to make in order to have, well order in our lives. It’s sometimes difficult to deal with criticism from others.  We have to maintain a delicate balance for friends and family who sometimes feel compelled to express their opinions while if you offer yours it will cause hard feelings.  This double standard is frustrating.  However, I’ve found the hardest part is conquering myself.  *cough*  Yeah, I”m going there as well.

Top 10 Ways To Conquer Yourself

 1. Make the choice  to be inspired by difficulties, not intimidated. Life happens every day.  Sometimes it throws us a curve balls, sometimes it throws us a slider, and sometimes even a fastball.  Although it may be difficult at the moment, we can always find a silver lining.  Example:  A flood destroys your home and everything in it.  It is devestating, yet the lives of you and your loved ones are spared.  Stuff can always be replaced, people can not.

2. Make the choice to not fret!  Being a worrywart is damaging to your health, your mental well being and your ability to handle the future.  I have a friend that is a complete worrywart!  (By the way a worrywart is someone who constantly worries about everything)  Shef rets over the smallest little things.  It started when she was young , worrying about storms because she was quite scared during a thunderstorm.  Then it progressed into her clothing choices, her food choices, and now she can hardly make a single decision.  She is completely bound up by fear, constantly afraid to make any decision for fear that itwill be the wrong decision.  That is no way to live. There are things we have no choice in , and we learn to handle them.  Fear is a wicked and cruel master.

3.Be a knight not a Barbie!  I am borrowing that from a bit of my presentation last fall.  Knights go into battle prepared, ready to tackle whatever comes their way.  Sure they get knocked down but they are tough, battle seasoned, and don’t give up easily.  Barbie’s are plastic, and melt under pressure.  They are superficial and fall apart at the slightest little trouble.  You find out who you are under pressure.  You also find out who other people really are under pressure.  Are you calm during a storm, or crushed by it?

4. Don’t live PO’d – past oriented.  Keep your eyes firmly fixed in front of you, not constantly looking behind.  The windshield of your car is much larger than the rearview mirror for a good reason!  All of us have a past that makes us who we are today.  It affected us, molded and shaped us into the person we are but don’t  let the past keep ou from living your life. Learn from where you’ve been, and focus on the future!

5. Are you happy  or hopeless?   Your attitude determines your altitude.(John Maxwell)  We don’t have to be happy about some of the things that happen to us but we can choose happiness.  Only 10% of happiness is determined by outside forces.  That should make you stop and think.  We  are not hopeless, or helpless.  Being a victim doesn’t have to be a permanent state.

6. Tap into the well. I’ve heard it said that happiness is contagious, that smiles spread easily.  Joy is your strength, but jealousy destroys. I have unfortunately complained to my friends way too much.  I am really a happy person, but when little things get to me, I spend way too much time taking things to heart and letting it affect me.  I owe my friends the deepest apologies for crying on their shoulders and lamenting trivial and some not so trivial matters.  I know that’s what friends are there for, but there’s a time to get a grip and realize that it’s notworth the anxiety I am causing myself or them.

 7. Focus your lense. quit focusing on your mistakes. Quit looking back at the past and beating yourself up over it.  I should have. . . I could have . . . I wish I had . . . It’s a dead end trap to misery!  Adjust your lense to see the future, learning from the past and focus on the parts you did right.  Yeah, I need to work on this one big time!

8. Half full!  Choose to be an opomist.  I know it doesn’t come naturally for some, but it can be learned.  You cantrain your brain to jump tracks from pessimism to optomism.  Looking at future opportunities, and your own potential goes a long way on those days when your past can nearly overwhelm you.  Atreyu showed us in The NeverEnding Story that is all too easy to get lost in the swamp of despair forever.

9. Patience is a virtue!  Yes, well . . . not one of my strong suits.  I battle this one frequently.  HOwever, during a crisis I tend to stay calm, and not panic.  It’s not exactly patience, but a willingness to slow down, and not get overwhelmed by the circumstances.  Challenges happen all the time, we need to face them without buckling to panic.  Sometimes, we need to be patient, and outlast, outwit, and outplay our opponent.  Trying times happen, only you can determine your mental battle plan.

10. Choose strength over suffering.  This sounds obvious, but how many people do you know that seem to enjoy their suffering?  They wear their suffering like a badge.  I’m not talking about the sacrifices taht our veterans make.  they should be commended and honored for every second they gave so that we can have freedom. What I’m talking aobut is the neighbor or friend that practically boasts about their afflictions in a way that it makes them special. They want your attention, your time, but always spend your time lamenting their own woes.  Strength comes in all shapes and sizes, and sometimes it takes strength to get through a single day when your body is wracked with pain.  The difference is the sufferer will tel you every second how miserable they are looking for sympathy.  The strong will endure, frequesntly quiet to their plight and rarely ever speak of anything amiss.  They earn my respect every time.

The biggest challenges we often face is learning to conquer the screaming toddler within us, and conduct ourselves as responsible human beings.  Making the tough decisions to tackle our own “tyrant selves” in the long run makes us happier with ourselves.

Some things to think about anyway!

Write on my friends, write on!

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