You’re reading a romance, the scene is coming where you know they are going to go for it. You’re anticipating the scene. The buildup has got you on the edge of your seat. Then it falls flat.
Why? I’ve noticed in some of the books I’ve read that some authors seem to think that sex or love-making involve the genitals and nothing else. How boring is that? The rest of the writing up to this point has been acceptable, then they get into these scenes and for whatever reason – they doink.
Face it, women want romance! It’s why we spend our hard-earned cash on romance novels, even cheesy ones! Romance is more than a small kiss on the lips, tuning the radio dials, a little touch to verify that the correct equipment is in the target zone then taking the plunge! Hello!
The use of “purple prose” adds to the lackluster scene when his manhood touches against her love button. By the time the scene is over you feel dirty, needing a shower, like you just witnessed a cheap act in a back alley. Readers want more from their characters. They expect a man to romance the woman – hence the romance label on the genre. Readers expect a sensory smorgasbord, an erotic flesh fest that makes them want more, that creates a sense of desire and of being desired. Sadly, in the last book I read those scenes were lacking. I never finished the book, it was that bad.
How does a good writer portray these scenes without coming across like a porn video or a glance in that dirty alley?
First; the build up. Creating a sense of desire, subtle pleasures building upon each other till the inevitable outcome is the pinnacle of her release. Secondly, becoming aware of all of the erogenous zones. Guys – pay attention here, it may help you in the future!
Incorporating other aspects into your scenes is as simple as learning from real life. What gets responses besides the obvious? Here’s a few little items that could easily crank the heat up in your next scene, whether at home or in a book.
Tip #1 – The Ears: Ear nibbling and licking. It sounds gross but for some reason, it is incredibly hot. Don’t just focus on the lobe. A tongue swipe inside the ear can elicit an instant reaction. Don’t go heavy on the teeth, ears are very sensitive! (Braces and piercing jewelry are not a good combination!) If you check the charts for acupuncture you’ll see there are pressure points in the ears for sexuality.
Tip #2 – The Neck: Kissing, licking, little suctioning kisses. Such a quick, easy turn on. Ladies, give him a little suctioning kiss on his Adam’s apple and see if his toes don’t curl! Men, just under the jaw, right above where the adenoids would be; yeah instant fire.
Tip #3 – Slow Down: Sometimes slow is incredibly sensual. By dedicating time to foreplay, taking time to explore even if you don’t think you need a map will be way more enjoyable. Especially by teasing and delaying intercourse until she is practically begging for it. Guaranteed success!
Tip #4 – Talk dirty to Me : OK, be careful here. Don’t go overboard, this isn’t an Al Pacino movie here. Don’t get super freaky unless you know for certain that she’s into that. But a little bit of dirty talk can take a roll between the sheets into the ‘mind bending hotness needing a fire extinguisher’ arena. A little bit of nasty can get girls off insanely! If you do it right.
Tip #5 – Doggie: Change it up. Having your lady on top is great, but a little doggie might get her there faster!
Tip #6 – Rhythm: Yep the rhythm is going to get ya! It’s not about going at it hard and fast. A woman’s body fluctuates and that doesn’t always feel good. Change up the routine, but not too often. If she’s into it – go with it! It’s really that simple. And if she’s not – for heaven’s sakes change your move! the rhythm of the music is however, not going to get her there. It’s likely to annoy her and end both your fun.
Tip #7 – The Ass Grab: I”m not really one for public displays, but this is one exception. Fora guy to squeeze your bum. this says ” I think you’re sexy. I want you, and I don’t care who knows it!” It feels really hot, and is such a mental stimulus. boost her ego by grabbing some booty as you leave the restaurant. Yeah, then she turns and gives that look. The one that says, “Take me baby, I’m yours!”
Incorporating some of these, if not all of these into the scene where it was tuning the radio then obtaining target verification would hae gone a long way to advancing the story, making their love scene believable, and it does wonders in your own bedroom. Or the living room floor if you don’t make it that far! If you liked this article, you may want to check out Steamy Sex Scenes, and Scorching Love Scenes.
Plan for success in everything! I’m going to try a new thing my friend Tasha suggested, Godiva chocolate liqueur, with some fresh strawberries, my new boots, an a little slink. Oh yes, I’ll win!
You can do your own research. In the meantime . . .
Write on my friends, write on!
Excellent advice not just for characters but for lovers as well.
Also make the scenes different throughout the book… As well as in real life. But not too different. I hate books where the first night the couple has sex they do it in 5 different ways for me it cheapens their 1st time together. The 1st time should be about exploring each others bodies not trying to see how many exotic positions you can do it in before you have a clue how each other react to basic touch.
Oh and when writing sex scenes if at all possible try them in real life. Will the scene actually be anatomically possible. Not only does this make for better writing but helps your personal life out and makes your partner feel less jealous of the time you spend writing.
Great post, Ellie.
And Tasha – preach it sister!
There’s nothing that takes me out of the moment faster than having to try and mentally plot out the anatomical irregularities that allow a guy to have one of her heels over his shoulder, the other around his waist, while holding her butt, a boob, and kissing her navel while making an omelet and doing his SATs.
Okay, exaggeration, but not by much with some of the scenarios I’ve read. 😉
Thanks ladies! Absolutely imperative to try them out in real life to make sure it’s biologically possible! LOL!
Excellent write-up, Ellie!
I enjoyed this one too! Good suggestions!