Today I have with me some very special guests. It’s been a while since I’ve done an interview, and this one is going to be a bit different.
* I give a tentative glance to Vicki’s friends, unable to hide my disgust at the goo and smells that are emanating from the two men behind her. *
I um, guess I should have expected this from zombie slayers.
* The blue eyed blond picks what appears to be an eyeball off his shoulder.*
Just a second. *I pull Vicki aside and briefly discuss with her*
Alright folks, Vicki is going to take it from here. Normally I would be running the interview but , well I’m not used to disemboweled bits of zombie – Oh God, did he just pull a finger out of his hair?
Right! Vicki is taking over. Nice to meet you gentlemen, now I have to get over to the other set for Storytime. It seems someone left one of the subs on the St. Andrews Cross.
*shaking Vicki’s hand, eyeing the two men nodding to them then rushing out the backstage door before my stomach empties from the smell, shouting over my shoulder*
“Sorry Vicki, we’ll catch up an other time. There’s refreshments on the table there and the staff can get you whatever you need.”
Before we get busy chatting and I forget, I`d like to thank Ellie for having us here today. I`d give her a hug but we had to battle zombies to get here and I`m rather funky and definitely not sunshine fresh! It`s a pleasure to meet you. My name is V.L. Locey and I`m an author of romantic comedies for all, which means I pen the love and laughter for both readers of M/F and/or M/M tales.
In case you`re wondering who the two fine looking men behind me are, let me introduce the stars of my newest release Two Guys Walk into an Apocalypse 2: It Came From Birmingham. The blond with the devil in his blue eyes is Paul Cooke, and the tall, dark, and handsome man at his side is his partner Gordon Moretti. Just ignore the speckles of undead stuff on their clothes.
Paul-“See this is why I hate zombies! Look at this. What the hell is this? Smell this and tell me if this is brain goo or something from a bowel.”
Gordon draws back from the icky finger under his wrinkled nose. “Forget it, I`m not smelling your finger. God knows where it`s been last.”
Paul” Don`t play coy-boy, we both know where it was.”
With a wink Paul drops into a chair, leaving his love to mumble under his breath before taking his seat.
V.L. –“Oh-kay, moving on. Can you guys believe that you`re getting your own books? Are you as excited as I am?!”
Paul arches an eyebrow at his creator bouncing in her seat like a weasel on crack. “I`m happy yes, but not quite to the frenetic ferret stage,” he smiles, leaning back and resting a shotgun over his thighs.
Gordon-“I`m actually pretty tickled. I never thought when we first ran into Zendra and their miserable strain of terroristic super rabies, that we would ever be getting our own books. It`s rather humbling.” He too relaxes back, a deer rifle coming to rest on his powerful legs.
Paul-“It is humbling. Who knew the world was hungry for two gay men, a cat, a senile military man, and a world filled with undead. I personally think it was my killer wit, lovely blue eyes, and the way I turn a phrase. Plus, my knowledge of pop culture is without equal.”
Gordon-“Without equal now that probably ninety-eight percent of the pop culture mavens on the planet are either deceased or extra`s for Brad Pitt`s upcoming summer blockbuster?”
Paul-“Are they re-releasing Fight Club again?”
V.L.-“Before we slip any further into a lovers war of words, why don`t you guys tell me about Two Guys 2 as its affectionately being called!”
Gordon pushes some a damp strand of dark hair from his face. “Well, Two Guys 2 picks up where we left things in the novella that appeared in the He Loves Me For My Brainsss anthology. Paul and I are about to head west to try to find a cure in the Zendra Laboratories plant in California. It`s me, Paul, our neighbor Colonel Richards, and our cat, Tallahassee. And yes, before anyone asks, she is named after the iconic character played so brilliantly by Woody Harrelson in Zombieland. Trust me, if we had known we`d be living the same nightmare they did in the movie, we`d have named her something else.”
Paul-“We just adore Woody. Oh, sorry, did I interrupt? Pray continue sugar bumps.” Getting a long and quite tired look from his beloved, Paul pretends to zip his lips. Those of us who know him are aware this lip zippering will last less than two minutes tops.
Gordon-“Aside from Paul`s lust for Woody, Two Guys 2 takes the four of us – we count the cat as an us and not an it – and finds us on the road to the west coast. Things don`t go exactly as we plan though, and we soon find ourselves sucked into a face-off with Zendra and the US military.”
Paul-“We also pick up some new friends along the way,” he says before pulling a moue, “Well, some are friends. There is a particular newcomer to the story that is the human equivalent of a malignant hemorrhoid, if you catch my drift?”
V.L.-“Yep, your drift is caught Mr. Cooke. So I take it there`s lots of action and zombie slaying gory goodness in this book, as well as a touch of acerbic humor?”
Gordon-“Yeah, just a touch of the acerbic.” He smiles and shows me about a millimeter of space between his thumb and forefinger. “I live with Mr. Mordant if you recall? And wasn`t your mouth supposed to be zipped?”
Paul rolls his light blue eyes dramatically and clamps his mouth closed, leg crossed over knee, foot now bouncing rapidly.
Gordon-“There`s also romance, you know that goes without saying. And sex.”
Paul-“Hot monkey sex, but that may change in the next book if someone who`s name rhymes with Pordon doesn`t stop reminding me to zip my lip. Just saying honey,” the blond zombie slayer waves a hand in the air before returning to bouncing his foot once more.
Gordon shakes his head slowly. “So yeah, that`s pretty much the set-up for the book. Zombies, humor, action, gore, road trips, sex, and crude jokes.”
Paul-“I don`t make crude jokes, I`m too much a lady for that. It`s that thing that came north from Birmingham that`s so crass.”
V.L.-“On that note, we`ll call this interview done. Paul, Gordon, thanks so much for agreeing to meet with me to tell folks about your new book coming from Torquere Press. I can`t wait to meet you here when Two Guys 3 is released!”
Paul-“Oh it was our pleasure, pumpkin. Where are we exactly? I love the décor!”
Gordon-“It`s better than that gas station we met you in last time. This place doesn`t have dead zombies lying over the counter. Is dead zombie an oxymoron?”
“No, that would be living dead, babe.”
Gordon- “Ah, well, at least someone is retaining the important things about society.” Both men slowly push up from their seats.
Paul-“Someone has to be in charge of keeping an eye on the idioms of the world.”
Thanks so very much for stopping in to get to know me and of course my stars Paul and Gordon. If you`re hankering to read a sexy M/M zom-rom-com, head on over to Torquere Press to grab your copy. You can find it right here-
If you`d like to read the novella that started it all, you can find Two Guys Walk Into An Apocalypse in the anthology He Loves Me For My Brainsss by clicking on this link-http://www.torquerebooks.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=76&products_id=3774
I love to meet and chat with new fans! You can find me at Facebook, Twitter, Google +, and here at my blog –http://thoughtsfromayodelinggoatherder.blogspot.com/
Yours in laughter and love-
*peaks head in backdoor* Hello? Is anyone here? Anyone? Bueller?
* walks into studio, seeing the mess all over the chairs*
Here’s a tip: if you are going to schedule an interview for zombie slayers, cover the furniture with plastic. Oh well, I wanted to replace these old chairs anyway.
Write on my friends, write on!