Sometimes good things come when you aren’t even looking for them. I’ve ranted here before about the vampires and about the time wasters. A couple of good friends have recently been reminding me to stop giving my time to free loaders and vampires. They are right.
My wonderful coach has been trying to get the point across that my time is just as valuable as anyone else’s. We know this, yet we devalue ourselves. It’s so easy to slip into the same patterns. I have a hard time saying ‘no’ to people. Some play on my compassion, others want my skills for no pay. Friends come wanting favors, coworkers want information, family want attention. Pretty soon you are stretched into thirty directions wondering why you can’t seem to focus or get anything accomplished on your own dreams. Gee – I wonder why.
So, I’ve gotten myself into a jam ( imagine that!) with certain habits of giving my time to above mentioned ‘negative’ individuals. It’s been a real painful exercise in extracting myself from those situations. I’ve really cut down my social media time as I would find myself spending way too much time with my Facebook friends than is healthy.
I’ve been changing habits and relearning how to write. that may sound funny, but I’ve over edited myself. I’ve been told by numerous people that I’ve over edited myself, or censored what I let out. to some degree that is a good thing except when you have cut out over half the story.
This new method of writing has greatly reduced my daily word count. Where I was getting 2000 to 2500 words before, now I reach about 300 to 350 before the editor kicks in. Now the difference is, I have 300 quality words, not 2000 sugar-coated cleaned up and polished sugar fluff that my inner voices are shushed.
Remember me mentioning those dark recesses? The dark passages beyond the deep pools? Well inner editor, uber Nazi Fräulein doesn’t want any of those to get out. She’d burn my entire stack of manuscripts if I let her. I can manage to sneak about 300 words or so past her before she pays attention.
Lately though, I’ve had a true treasure fall into my lap so to speak. You know those people who you are supposed to hang out with? The ones that encourage you? The ones that add value to your life? I asked a while back where those people were in my life and I had to make changes. As it happens, I felt down and decided that I would go visit the groups I was in on Facebook, something that I have greatly cut back on. In one particularly enjoyable group I made a new friend. It’s astonishing how many similarities we have.
I feel like we instantly bonded, and we have been chatting fairly regularly since. This person is a true treasure. One that adds value to my life, one that challenges me to do more and be more. I’ve already observed a difference in myself and my outlook since we’ve been sharing and chatting.
- He’s free with compliments whereas I’ve been used to listening to criticism. Wow, can’t tell you what a difference that makes.
- He encourages me in my writing – in addition to listening to my inner editor, I’ve had family tell me to stop chasing dreams that I didn’t have the talent to obtain. That really stung, and although I didn’t want to believe that it affected me.
- He seems to value my opinion. In a world where big busted women are looked at as brainless bimbos I can’t tell you how much respect this particular point won him.
- We seem to have common interests and opinions . When you’ve been feeling like maybe everyone else is right and there’s something wrong with you, that you’re the messed up one it’s phenomenal to find like-minded people.
Through conversation he’s encouraged me and I’ve tried to be encouraging to him. We’ve found common ground where we can share our opinions, likes and dislikes. This has really made an impact on my outlook and improved my daily word count tremendously.
If you notice my picture at the top of the geode, it’s there to make a point. I could have just as easily used the rock analogy from ‘Bug’s Life’, but I wasn’t sure how many would get it. So instead my geology degree kicks in and I give you a rock. On the outside, most of us look like plain rocks. We vary in shade, circumference, and density but we appear as unassuming run of the mill rocks. But, when you cut open rocks you’ll find in some beautiful treasure. Now I’m not suggesting that I or anyone else cut my new friend in half – what’s wrong with you people?
NO, I am suggesting that when you look beyond the surface, when you get to know the person, once in a great while you find a geode. ON the outside could be just a plain rock, but to the trained geologist they recognize potential.
I grossly underestimated my friend’s inner treasure. The more we talk, the easier it is to talk. I am feeling once again confident in my abilities, and enthusiastic about pursuing the goal.
I have loads of friends, and most are not vampires. This particular friend has made a huge impact on me already. Sometimes you just click with the person. I only hope that in some way I add value to his life. I would really be bummed to find out that he considers me a time vampire.
Who do you have in your life that encourages you? Who helps you to achieve your dreams? Who values you for the things you value?
Get out of the rut and the mundane and start living your life with passion. If you can’t be passionate about it, why bother? For the past several months recovering from a plethora of things life has dealt, I’ve had little passion therefore have written little. All it takes is a spark to reignite the fires within. I’ve got my spark, and now the fire is blazing.
Write on my friends, and do it with PASSION!
Coach is beaming. You’ve come so far since we met and you’ve forced me to change and clean-up my act. I’m very proud of you.
I’m lucky I have a number of people that encourage me, you, my co-author, my husband, a friend in India, a number of people online and in real-life.