Way back ages ago when I was a teen – yeah, that long ago – in driver’s education class Coach told us about entering an intersection and where the point of no return was. Ironically around that same time Kansas had a big hit. I liked listening to Kansas until my mother decided one day that Dust in the Wind was actually a good song. http://youtu.be/o-R8gHj_7v8
Well that killed it! From that point on Joan Jett, Rush, AC/DC, and more metal bands were my fare. Oh, Eurythmics, Pat Benatar, and Heart were always in the lineup but I didn’t listen to them when the ‘rents were around. Sometimes my emotions get the better of me and cloud my judgment. Never the less, there are times to call it quits and times to press on.
How do you decide what that point is? I’ve developed my own playbook for making these calls. No, you can’t borrow it – make your own. In my playbook there are a few simple rules but mostly guidelines. Many decisions are not as easily cut and dry as yes or no. More times than not the decision is like a flow chart with a series of ‘if-then-else’ statements. It may not seem logical to anyone else, but that doesn’t matter now, does it?
For example: Do I continue to pour my efforts into my writing even though certain individuals are unsupportive? Do I rebuild what I had and try again, gathering my remains with determination or do I lay it to rest in a mass grave and move on to other ventures? Do I trash the ideas yet push forward on a new project?
IF my sole purpose of writing is for the approval of others THEN I have failed to achieve that, ELSE I attempt to write something that would get the approval, or END the pursuit. IF my purpose for writing is other? THEN conditions for the other apply and have to be weighed in a logical sequential order. ELSE emotions will take over and my frustration will win and all that will be accomplished is a lot of wailing, crying and gnashing of teeth – and consumption of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey. (Quickly shoves evidence of Ben & Jerry’s into trash bin, ties bag removing to outdoor bin. ) Where were we? Oh yes, the IF THEN ELSE logic flowchart.
I’ve examined all the reasons why not and it pales in comparison to the gut wrenching spasms of pain that are akin to killing who I am inside just as if I took a large knife and thrust it inside my abdomen and twisted. I saw that look of disbelief as you grimaced at my melodramatic comparison.
That part of me that screams WRITE THE STORY will not shut up therefore I must pursue my endeavors. Even when it means rewriting what I already had written. Even when I reread and decide to trash the section and redo it. Even when I stress over nitpicky details in my make-believe world, yet disregard the stack of dirty dishes in real life. Come on, the make-believe world is so much better!
The point of no return in this matter is easy to define. I passed it a long time ago, and I must keep going towards the finish line. In other matters, however the line is blurred. In relationships where is that point? Does time define a point of no return? Does intensity override duration? Does time outweigh the fights, arguments and distasteful memories? It’s a sad thing to end a relationship but if it’s not a healthy relationship is a break needed?
What determines your point of no return? What tips the scale for or against going forward? Life comes from death. You’ll never tap the life inside a seed until you bury it in the ground. By burying the broken relationship, you may find new growth, a tender stalk, and soon even fruit on the branch. It’s hard to see life in the middle of winter, but eventually life will return to the stark landscape and everything will be fresh, green, and teeming with life.
Winter is coming is the expression of the Starks in Game of Thrones. Spring is just around the corner, ignore the groundhog! New life, a new energy, fresh starts, and new directions lay before us. What dead branches are you holding onto? Are they unhealthy habits? Unhealthy relationships? False beliefs? Are you willing to let go of the tangible to position yourself for the unseen potential that hasn’t sprouted yet?
Write on my friends, let’s look forward to brighter sunny days ahead!