Today is my 1 year anniversary from my big car wreck. Since then a lot has changed.
- A large amount of money has passed through my hands to the hospital, to doctors, to the xray lab and other places. ( Enough money that I could have paid for a full year for my daughter’s college)
- My perspective on everything!
On life – I am grateful for each new day.
On health – oh that I would have valued it more before injuries.
On time management – I have things to accomplish while I am still alive and don’t want to just waste my time anymore.
The first few weeks after the wreck I suppose it was a state of shock, it was almost as if in a dream state. I kept trying to figure out what happened, but was in a brain fog that I couldn’t seem to shake. It wasn’t very long that I knew I had to get off the pain medications or I would be addicted to them. I tossed them – whether it was a smart decision or not who knows. Xrays from my neck and back show that it wasn’t all in my head, and that the injuries were fairly severe.
So, I’ve been living with pain. Trying to manage, trying to motivate myself to do things that I don’t feel physically like doing, and things I can no longer do physically. My mobility has been greatly reduced. Initially this led to a pity party on my part, comforting myself with food and laziness. To which end I had gained 38 pounds. UGH!
After all the work I had done previously to take off the extra weight, and get healthy – this has been a trial of setback after setback. It does nothing to your self esteem when you wallow in self pity. NO, I had to get off my butt and get back in life or I would be permanently sidelined.
I’ve been doing a challenge with my friend this past month and have taken off 12 pounds. It’s a start. I’m not beating myself up over not keeping up with the workout routines, but rather accepting this is what I can do now, and I did more this week than I did last week. It’s a small step but I think in the right direction.
I’ve had a great group of friends that have supported and encouraged me. Without them I think I may have given up. I owe them a lot! I feel I am on the right track again, even if it is taking longer than I had anticipated. I’ll get there, and with a new appreciation of mortality, I will be more mindful of my time. Having fun – on purpose. Working hard- on purpose. Pursuing my dreams – on purpose. Making every day count – on purpose.
Bad things happen! It’s what you do after that defines you. I’m not going to wallow in self pity or worry about the unfairness of it all. That thinking leads to a bottomless pit. Life is unfair but opportunities abound all around us all we have to do is open our eyes and grab just a few of them.
Me? I’m not giving up and in fact are more determined than ever. So in a way this anniversary is not a bad thing, not a remembrance of being broken – but of having my goals and dreams defined. I was taking a lot of things for granted and I no longer do. I was letting time slip away from me too casually. Not anymore. There is time to play in my new schedule but there is serious work time as well.
I hope that all of my readers value each day, each one is a gift. A new opportunity at every sunrise.
Write on my friends, write on!
Don’t let life pass you by! Lay hold of your dreams today!