Understanding Who We Are

Ten Rules to Live By in Order to Achieve  Success

1. Feed Your Strengths! Understand your personality and know what your strengths are.  Work with your natural bent instead of trying to be something that you were never designed to be. If you are a creative, embrace the creative nature. If you are an analytical thinker then go forth and analyze! For me, the daily doldrums can get the best of me.  It’s part of why I get bored with long term projects. New experiences stimulate my mind whereas  routine gives others comfort.  I need to make sure that I have opportunities for new experiences in order to fuel my quest of understanding the world. I’m never going to be a skydiver –  that’s a little too much experience for me. However, safety within the four walls of my home become stagnant and are soon interpreted as imprisonment just as if I were sentenced to solitary confinement.  If you don’t know what your personality is, google personality tests. Here’s an example of one that is helpful: http://www.16personalities.com/  Here’s  something it said about mine: ENFPs are fiercely independent, and much more than stability and security, they crave creativity and freedom. Don’t Lose That ‘Little Spark of Madness’  Now, how accurate is that? 
2. Face Your Weaknesses! Every one has strengths and everyone has weaknesses. I know – difficult to believe but it’s true. Realize and accept that some traits are  your strengths and others are  your weaknesses. By facing your weaknesses, you can overcome them and they will have less power over you. My effervescent personality makes me vulnerable to schemers and cons. I hate the word,  but naivity is one of my biggest downfalls.  I’ve been “suckered” many times. I tend to be too trusting and believe that people are honest and have integrity. They aren’t and they don’t.  Human nature is lazy and selfish – a lesson that I often have to be reminded of.  I’ve gotten myself into some very dangerous situations because of this blind trust. An eagerness to push the envelope means that I often act before thinking. I have anger issues.  OH, some people get angry,  but I have had some real issues with  anger to the point of rage. It’s a real thing.  The hell hath no fury like a woman scorned type of thing. I have a long list of unfinished projects.  Writing projects, craft projects, home improvement projects, you name it. This is one area that I have made improvements on,  knowing that I work better with a deadline and a todo list in order to progress to  completion.  I have this inner need to experience everything that life has to offer and could lead to some real problems.  While I’m not going to  sample heroine or meth just for the experience,  I have been known to do some daring things. Daily routine is the bane of my existence.  I need change, variety, something new. For others that would be a nightmarish existence.  I get that – we are all different. I get angry when others try to make me conform to their ideas.
3. Express Your Feelings. Emotions – they aren’t always sweet.  I love passionately.  I give generously.  I feel compassionately.  I act impulsively. I get hurt easily. Don’t let anger get bottled up inside you. If you have strong feelings, sort them out and express them, or they may become destructive! I’ve made a lot of stupid decisions either on impulse, or out of anger. I hate the question-  why did you do that because I don’t alwayhs have an answer.  I just did it.  I didn’t think about it,  or weigh the consequences  I just acted. Why does there need to be a reason?  I have had to learn to think first act second. That is not a natural process for me.
4. Make Decisions. Don’t be afraid to have an opinion. You need to know how you feel about things in order to be effective. There are times however that it is not wise to share your opinion.  Just because you have a thought does not mean it needs to come out of your mouth or be typed into social media.
5. Smile at Criticism. Try to see disagreement and discord as an opportunity for growth, because that’s exactly what it is. Try not to become overly defensive towards criticism; try to hear it and judge it objectively.  YEah,  I’m still working on this one.  I don’t take criticism well.  Smile? Are you kidding me? More like grit your teeth and breath a deep cleansing breath.  Let. It. Go. Sometimes they are trying to help, however misguided they are.
6. Be Aware of Others. Remember that there are 15 other personality types out there who see things differently than you see them. Most of your problems with other people are easier to deal with if you try to understand the other person’s perspective. I often have to remind myself of this. OFTEN. Just like above,  there are people who think through, analyze, weigh the options, consequences, how it affects other people before they act. If I did that,  I would  never have done over half of the things I have.
7. Be Aware of Yourself. Don’t forsake your own needs for the sake of others.   I am so guilty of this.  As a mother I am a giver.  My personality lends itself to giving out and putting myself last. Realise you are an important focus. If you do not fulfill your own needs, how will continue to be effective and how will others know you are true to your beliefs? If you do this  very often, you will find yourself at a place of dissatisfaction in life.  This is where I am trying to work back from!
8. Be Accountable for Yourself. Don’t waste mental energy finding blame in other’s behaviour, or in identifying yourself as a victim. You have more control over your life than any other person has. So be in control.  Own your actions,  live your own life.  Stop blaming others, stop making excuses, and stop waiting for life to happen.  Waiting means life will pass you by while you sit in the bleachers.
9. Assume the Best. Don’t distress yourself by assuming the worst. Remember that a positive attitude creates positive situations. OH I am all over this one!  I am probably guilty of being the eternal optimist,  always looking at the best case scenario. Now, when I (best case scenario visionary) work together with my husband (analytical thinker who tends to be worst case scenario) we can come up with a plan that benefits us both. Isn’t that kind of the idea?  We balance each other’s strengths and weaknesses.
10. When in Doubt, Ask Questions! Don’t assume that the lack of feedback is the same thing as negative feedback. If you need feedback and don’t have any, ask for it.  Asking questions does not mean you are stupid, it means you are curious and interested. When was the last time you asked a question in something that you had no interest? Hmmmm?

GO FOR IT!

You want success in your life,  you  take the pilot seat. You want it? Work for it, work towards it.  Understand  your own strengths and weaknesses.  Stop beating yourself up over  a personality trait that  is different than the majority.  It may  be the very catalyst to  change the atmosphere!

Write on my friends, write on!

Ellie