In order to have a successful partnership, communication is essential. This applies to personal relationships as well as professional. After 30 years of marriage, you’d think that a husband and wife could communicate well. Wrong! Isn’t it ironic that the communication we once had seems to have filtered down to a few grunts, assumptions, and preconceived notions?
We aren’t the same people we were 30 years ago. A lot has happened in that time. Births, deaths, conflicts, romance, celebrations, and life. Everyday life can wear you down until you have little energy remaining for the people that are most important to you. How did that happen?
Very simply, you lose sight of the bigger picture when you are in the trenches. Head down, dealing with the current situation, one after another, time after time, and life continues to go on until you finally look up and don’t recognize your surroundings. Don’t panic, adjust your internal GPS and your course accordingly.
It is the same with business relationships. Communication is essential. There are a few basic rules that you need to understand to interpolate the communication.
- What is the business relationship? Boss/employee; business partners; coworkers; manager/employee; contractor/subcontractor.
- Which role are you in the relationship?
- Do you communicate accordingly with the other person/people involved?
You are responsible for your words and actions, not the other person. You are responsible however, for your responses and reactions to the other person.
By now you are scratching your head wondering what it is that set me off this time because if this isn’t your first rodeo on my blog, you know that something lit the fire burning inside my gut. Crude I know, but I’m feeling rather gutted at the moment.
Well, you’re right. I’m having trouble coming to terms with a couple individuals with whom I have relationships.
The marriage is an ongoing daily thing and thanks to a third party counselor, we’re doing better. But this really isn’t about that.
It has everything to do with Business dealings. One of which is with the spouse. I view this as a partnership, each responsible for different parts of our business.
I am the creative force behind our business. He is the analytical one that keeps me tethered and aware of our meager budget. We are working together in this area but it’s still not running as smoothly as we’d like.
I am marketing and public relations while he handles research and development.
I am the planner. He is the analyst that provides charts and graphs for feasibility.
I provide general labor while he provides all things computer related and physical labor for larger things.
All of these roles are necessary, and for the most part are divided fairly equally. If you keep in mind that he gets all of the heavy lifting. Hmm, well maybe I should balance that a little by providing treats at the next board meeting.
This is a fairly new venture, so it’s understandable that we need to work out the kinks.
There is a second relationship that really has me on edge. This relationship is trying my last nerve.
How do you relate to someone who doesn’t have the same view of roles within the relationship? How do you communicate with someone who acts like they are a dictator and repeatedly refuses to listen to anyone else’s input?
Communication is a two-way street, or at least it is supposed to be.
I’m having a real issue with this arrangement because my ideas and their ideas are not meshing.
- This is not a dictator/subject relationship. This is not a manager/employee relationship. This is supposed to be a mutual contracted agreement.
- Do NOT talk down to me in a condescending tone as if I am a moron. I am not. Do NOT talk to me like I am some clueless idiot that is your subordinate. Just because this particular job does not require certain technical skills does not mean that it is not possessed.
- Do NOT lecture me on not fulfilling my parts of the job when the parts that you are NOT stating are not defined. If additional tasks are needed they need to be spelled out and defined, otherwise I will proceed according to what I know and what was designated in the arrangement.
- Bossing people around does not make you in charge. Bossing people around that are supposed to be team members just makes you a Bitch. And not in a good way either.
- Do not belittle your fellow team members. You don’t have to go to happy hour with them to do your job.
How many can relate? I’ve been the employee many times when the supervisor or manager treated others poorly. I’ve also had supervisors that I greatly respected. You know the biggest difference? They treated others as valuable individuals validating their efforts.
The above situation has me at my wit’s end. But it also pushes me to strive harder in our own business.
Nobody likes to be talked down to, or treated like they don’t matter, or made to feel belittled. NOBODY!
While I continue to work out my struggles in this, I can’t help but wonder . . . someone who treats others like this has to feel horrible inside. I try to live my life by that age old rule – treat others as you would like to be treated. There is no crime against being nice. However, some seem to view it as a weakness.
It’s not a weakness at all. It requires great strength and integrity to face a person like this without engaging in the same poison that they are spewing. Karma, the law of reciprocity, or whatever you decide to call it is a bigger Bitch than you can dish out so be careful what you’re dishing.
Remember the Four Agreements:
- Be impeccable with your words. Speak with integrity.
- Don’t take anything personal. Nothing others do is because of you.
- Don’t make assumptions. Ask the questions, communicate, avoid misunderstandings.
- Always do your best. Always – even if you don’t like the “Boss” or coworker. Do. Your. Best. Because at the end of the day, you have to live with your conscious.