Summer Lit Blitz – Karen Doctor

 

Do you like mysteries? Do you like romance? YOU are in luck with this week’s guest because you’ll get both. First,  let’s share our interview then you can read a couple of excerpts.

1. Tell me a little about yourself.  

I’m an Amazon Bestselling Indie author. I live in the Denver area, and love my Rocky Mountains and the year round temperatures. Yes, it can be 50 degrees one day and in the 80s the next but I love the changeability…generally. I love camping and fishing. I have three children and eight grandchildren. My husband and I ride Bumblebee, our yellow and black Goldwing motorcycle, whenever we get a chance. Everything disappears when I’m on the back of the bike. So relaxing! We even have a pop up camper for the back of the cycle so we can take long trips. We take at least one a year.

 2.What is (are) your goal(s) for June? July? August? (whichever month you are being interviewed for)

 Get caught back up so I can write more. My mother had a serious health event at the end of last month so I’ve been perpetually behind for weeks now and not writing nearly as much as I’d hoped. I really do want to get one of the two books I’m working on out soon!!

 3. I can relate. I’ve had chaos in my life here as well. Nothing as serious as you have going on. You have my sympathy there, that’s got to be very stressful. What is your best time management tip?

 Buy an egg timer and try to schedule your day. I’m scattered in so many directions because I write. I run and manage a daily blog where I highlight guest authors. I’m the Programs Chair at RomCon, a romance readers convention that we organize every year, which generally means I take care of the 60+ authors, their schedules, etc.

 4. What is your best writing tip for newbies?

 Soak up as much craft information as you can, then simply write. You want to learn the intricacies of craft but don’t get so immersed that you don’t write. But you also don’t want to stop learning once you get the craft down. The market is changing so quickly you don’t have a lot of time before something changes and there’s something else to learn.

 5. Do you have a book coming out this summer?

Yes, probably the end of the summer or early fall. Due to personal things, I’ve fallen a bit behind. I’m currently working on the next True Love In Uniform Series contemporary romance called Cop Crashes The Wedding. I’m also working on the second Thorne’s Series book, Dead Ringer. I’m aiming to get at least one of them released by August.

 6. What genre do you write?

I write contemporary romance as Karen Docter and romantic suspense as K.L. Docter. I love writing both light (almost romantic comedy) and dark (there is usually a serial killer ) romance.

 7. What are your favorite summer foods? Activities?

I love watermelon, corn on the cob, barbecued anything. We have at least one neighborhood BBQ on our deck with up to 40 people. Summer is the only time I make my famous potato salad.

8.  I absolutely love summer foods, and like you said anything barbecued. I’e gotten to where I prefer my meat grilled without sauce- especially a good cut of beef.  Now I’m hungry. Will you share a picture of your writing space?

 

I have my office just the way I want it…and it’s all about to change. I’m giving up my dedicated office space in the basement so we can convert it to a space for my mother when it becomes necessary. However, right now, my office is bright Emperor’s Gold. I don’t generally like yellows but when I’m here, it feels like I’m outside in the sunshine. I’m surrounded by my small collection of Asian artwork and wall hangings…and, of course, my dragon collection. Anyone who follows me know I love my dragons!

9. OK, I’m having some serious office envy right now.  I have been trying to get my office set up,  I am currently using a corner of our kitchen table and I can’t ven begin to tell you how  not effective it is. I have this whole beachy theme for it, had the space all cleared out so my husband could begin with the drywall and . . . let’s just say it’s a struggle. So, continueing on with our   interview, I have two more question for you before we get to the excerpt.  Which book have you read the most in your lifetime?

 Ayn Rand’s TheFountainhead or  Atlas Shrugged. Have read them both numerous times. I also have an old collection of Tarzan and the John Carter series I pull out occasionally, as well as my collection of Star Trek novels, and most of Sherilyn Kenyon, Tara Janzen, Cindy Gerard, okay, there are a lot of authors I can add to this but there’s simply no room.

10. What advice would you give to aspiring authors?

 Develop a thick skin and don’t panic when you don’t see immediate results. In this day and age, we’re so used to instant gratification that we forget that it takes time to develop our skills. Don’t rush yourself out there until you know you’re ready. There are a lot of writers who put themselves out too soon and it can actually hurt your career.

 Thank you Karen for a wonderful interview, and for being my guest this week. It’s a pleasure to have you here! Now, let’s share  this excerpt shall we?  My readers are going to love this.  This is from Karen’s romantic suspense, Killing Secrets, Thorne’s Thorns Book 1.Karen wants everyone to know that each one can be read as a stand alone. 

Blurb:

Some secrets are better left dead.

Rachel James’ ex-husband is released from prison determined to reclaim her and her little girl — the child is his key to controlling the James fortune. Frightened, Rachel flees to Denver with the child who hasn’t uttered a word since her daddy went to prison.

Contractor Patrick Thorne wants nothing to do with another of his parents’ charity cases. He failed his own wife so abysmally she took her own life as well as his unborn son’s. After two years, it’s time to concentrate on the bid he’s won and the saboteur trying to destroy his construction firm.

There is no room for trust in either of their hearts. But trust is all that will untangle the secrets that dominate their lives, free a little girl of her silent prison, and save them all from a serial killer who stands too close.

(A Thorne’s Thorns Novel)

Excerpt: 

Four weeks….

Two days….

Sixteen hours….

…‘Til death.

The first time he laid eyes on her, he stood on the threshold of a doorway he dare not cross. He fell into her fathomless dark gaze, unable, unwilling to shake his soul free and, in that one moment, he knew.

She was meant for him to love.

Untouched by the sordid life that flourished around her, she was sunlight in a gray existence. A smile in a dingy room. A joy such as he’d never known. She was a gift from a cold, unforgiving God. Forever innocent.

Why God would give him such a precious angel, he didn’t know. But he suddenly knew what he was willing to die for. What he’d kill for.

In that instant of clarity the monster that lurked in the dark recesses of his mind was freed. A creature designed to kill. To live and die. Over and over again. Until his angel ascended once more to her place in Heaven at God’s feet where he couldn’t reach her.

‘Til death parted them, she was his and his alone.

Certain she’d been lost to him, the shock of spotting her again in LoDo, a lower downtown section of Denver, nearly brought him to his knees. His brain tried to tell him he was mistaken. She had more curves than he remembered. Her hairstyle and clothes were different.

The others were different, too.

He shook his head against the monster’s treacherous whisper. He refused to listen. Couldn’t listen. His angel smiled at him. His soul recognized her. Somehow, some way, his fractious God had been appeased and given him yet another chance.

The past seven days were hell. Watching her. Wanting to take her. Knowing he couldn’t screw up and lose her again. Tonight, his preparations in place, she’d return to his side where she belonged.

Breathing slow and measured through the full-face ski mask he’d bought at a thrift store, he sucked in a lungful of musty stench. In this uncommon late-May heat wave, he was sweating bullets but the wool soaked it up before it could sting his eyes. The itching would drive him insane, though, if she didn’t come home from work soon.

The LoDo sports bar where she waited tables closed almost an hour ago. She couldn’t have gone on a date at two o’clock on a Thursday morning, could she?

Three times he’d entered her ground floor apartment after she’d left for work, and he’d seen no sign she was involved with anyone. No jockey shorts mixed with her panties in the hamper. No extra razor. The food in the refrigerator wasn’t enough to feed a cat, let alone her and a boyfriend, and the only scent on her pillows was floral. The sole message from a male on her answering machine had identified himself as a special research librarian from the Denver Public Library reminding her to pick up the copy of “The Warwick Genealogy” she’d requested.

That doesn’t mean she isn’t still involved with him, the almighty scion of Thorne Enterprises. She’s probably crawling into his bed like a whore right this minute, letting him do things to her, making her scream….

Screams.

Blood.

Death.

“No!  Stop!” he whispered. “That was a mistake!”

Was it?  The insidious question lashed him from the dark place in his pounding skull.

He rejected the smirking voice, the vivid images. Think of something else. Anything else. Forget forget for—

Buy Links:

Amazon: http://amzn.to/290Q43o

B&N: goo.gl/wsqVxBPaperback: goo.gl/OWO72C

Kobo:  goo.gl/KM563U

iTunes:  goo.gl/pg58wN

Smashwords: goo.gl/I7K4o3

 

 

 

 

Author Bio:

Amazon Bestselling Author Karen Docter writes contemporary romance. When she feels the need to feed the dark side, she writes intense suspense thrillers as K.L. Docter. She’s an award-winning author, a four-time Romance Writers of America® Golden Heart® finalist, and won the coveted Kiss of Death Romance Writers Daphne du Maurier Award Category (Series) Romantic Mystery Unpublished division.

Website/Blog: http://www.karendocter.com

Twitter: @KarenDocter
Karen Docter FB: http://goo.gl/6TXc5X
K.L. Docter FB: http://goo.gl/uD1iGL
Goodreads: https://goo.gl/bsswDd

 

 

Bestselling Author Karen Docter ~ K.L. Docter
Contemporary Romance ~ Romantic Suspense
Website/Blog/Twitter/Facebook/Pinterest:www.karendocter.com Thank you Karen for being an awesome guest.

Thank you Karen for being an awesome guest. I can’t wait to start on this book personally, I hope you will all enjoy it also.

Write one my friends, write on!

Ellie

Summer Lit Blitz – Madison Granger

I hope that you are enjoying this series of guest authors for great summer reads. Be sure to leave a review after reading a book. Reviews are important for authors, especially Indie authors.

Today’s guest is a fellow Bard author, Ms. Madison Granger. Let’s dive in and see what we can learn from Ms. Granger shall we?

1. Tell me a little about yourself.

I’m a young-hearted free spirit mistakenly encased in an aging woman’s body. On the serious side, wait, that was the serious side. If it sounds like I’m stalling, I am. I absolutely hate this question. I’m never quite sure how to answer it. I’m a mom, I’m a grandmother. I’m a full-time legal secretary. And now, I’m an author. Somewhere in all of that, I’ve lived several lives. I’ve done a little of everything, from being a locksmith to a horse trainer. I pull from my life experiences because I have plenty.

2. What genre do you write?

Paranormal romance

3. Are you attending any author events over the summer?

I don’t have any plans for author events this year or next year, for that matter. I am trying to line up a few local signings, but nothing more than that. Since I’m just getting started, I’d like to focus on my writing. I’d like to have at least a couple of books on the table before I venture out again.

4. That  is a good approach. I’ve done a few and I  feel underqualified sitting next to someone who has six books under their belt, and I have just the one. How do you manage writing with the rest of your life? (job, spouse, parent, etc.)

Since I work full-time, writing has become my second job, of a sort. I’m single, so I don’t have to worry about spending time with a significant other. My routine has become: go to work, come home, unwind, catch up on social media, then write.

Weekends, I write.

5. That sounds like a tight schedule. Who are your favorite authors?

J.R. Ward, Sherrilyn Kenyon, Patricia Briggs, Terry Brooks, Kevin Hearne, Lynsay Sands … the list goes on and on.

6. I absolutely adore J.R. Ward and Terry Brooks. I’ve read the others as well but adore those two. What genre do you read most often?

Paranormal romance and epic fantasy.

7. Will you share a picture of writing space?

Sure.

8. *sigh*  An orderly designated work area.  I am envious.  *sigh*    Moving on –What do you most value in a friend?

Honesty

9. Do you use real people as your characters or do you completely make them up? Describe your process.

A little of both. My first book originated from a dream. There are several characters that are loosely based on real people. The rest are all imagination.  I’m working on a short story at the moment. I dream of the characters and they come to life on the page.

      10. How do you handle research? Do you gather all data first or start writing while still gathering?

Again, a little of both. For the third book of my Kindred series, I started researching ahead of time. I knew how that one was going to start, so I had to prepare. I find myself researching as I go along too.

Wow, that time just flew by. We’ll have to do this again when we have more time! Thank you so much for being my guest today, Madison. It’s been a pleasure talking with you!

Phoenix Rising cover

Phoenix Rising

by Madison Granger

Blurb:

Torie Masters is a curvy, middle-aged, divorcee with a normal job and family life. Her penchant for paranormal romances leaves her longing for the day she will meet the man who will sweep her off of her feet. She’s been dreaming a long time.

Quinn McGrath is Liege Lord to a centuries old clan of shapeshifters known as The Kindred. All have been promised a destined mate by the Goddess. He has all but given up finding his.

Sparks fly when Quinn meets Torie. Could his ‘Promised Soul’ finally be real? The eternal mates might not stand a chance as man and nature work against them. From assassination attempts to a devastating hurricane, their future is put to the test across the globe. Is their bond strong enough to see them through to forever?

                                                                 

                                                                     

Buy Links:

https://www.amazon.com/Phoenix-Rising-Kindred-Book-1-ebook/dp/B01CW9SH6A?ie=UTF8&ref_=asap_bc

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/phoenix-rising-madison-granger/1123652224?ean=9780692661888

http://www.booksamillion.com/p/Phoenix-Rising/Madison-Granger/9780692661888?id=6615284576146

Excerpt:

“Umm, would you do something for me?” asked Torie.

“If it is in my power, you know I will. What would you have me do?”

“Could you shift for me?” she asked hesitatingly.

It was not the question he’d expected first. “Are you sure you want that now?”

“Well, is it gross like on the movies and TV? All drawn out and tortured?”

Laughing softly, he replied to her, “No, it is not like that at all. That would be werewolves, and their transformation is rather painful to watch. I am a shapeshifter, and it is” … he thought for a moment how best to describe it …. “more of a magical transformation.”

“So, could you show me? We’ll get to werewolves later,” she countered, shaking her head, not quite believing they were really having this conversation.

He nodded, walked to the middle of the room, and toed off his loafers. Straightening, he slowly started to strip. Quinn unbuttoned his shirt and dropped it on the floor. Unbuckling his belt, his pants and boxers followed suit.

Torie gasped. She knew he was built, but even her vivid imagination couldn’t have prepared her for seeing him. He was incredible! The epitome of a true warrior, stood tall and regal before her. His arms were corded, the right one covered in tribal ink. His broad chest was covered with a dusting of golden hair that tapered down to a well-formed six-pack. His shaft was semi erect. She could easily discern that he was much bigger than any man she had ever been with. His thighs were thick and well-formed, and his calves were made for running. He was strength personified.

Suddenly the air in the room felt charged. There was a slight shimmering around the tall warrior, an audible ‘pop,’ and Quinn was gone. A huge silver wolf stood in his place. A silver wolf with Quinn’s blue eyes.

Torie was frozen in place, trying to take it all in. She saw it, but was struggling to convince herself that it had actually happened. Slowly, the wolf padded over to her. She sat quietly, watching his approach. His muzzle bumped her hand. Without thinking, she automatically patted his head and scratched behind his ears. Pulling her hand back quickly, she gasped, “Oh geez, I’m sorry Quinn. I didn’t mean to pet you like a dog,” her face reddened furiously.

He nudged her hand again, stepped closer, and licked her face. Quinn sat back on his haunches with his head cocked to the side, tongue lolling out. Torie couldn’t help but laugh. Leave it to Quinn to ease her no matter what shape he was in.

Author Madison Granger

Author Bio:

Madison Granger is a free-spirited late bloomer that stubbornly believes dreams can come true, never giving up, and you’re never too old to try new things. She proved that to herself, and others, when at the age of 30, she got her first horse and went on to become a three-time National Champion in the show ring.

While having a love for books all of her life, Madison had never tried her hand at writing. After having a story in her head for over three years, in the later part of her life, she has written her first book. She is now well on her way to creating a series for her beloved Kindred warriors.

Madison lives in southern Louisiana. Working full-time as a secretary, she still manages to find time to write. When not working or writing, Madison enjoys reading and spending time with friends and family. Follow her on:

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/MadisonGrangerAuthor

https://www.facebook.com/MadisonGrangerKindredSeries/

Twitter:

https://twitter.com/MadisonGranger

Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/author/madisongranger

Goodreads:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29745345-phoenix-rising

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.com/mgrangerauthor/

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/madisongrangerauthor/

Publisher:

https://www.eclecticbardbooks.com/

Website:    

 https://www.MadisonGranger.com/

That sounds like some serious summer heat up there.  I may have to invest in a signed copy. It’s on my to be read list,  but I am terrible about reading my ebooks when I have shiny slick covered books demanding my attention.

If you’re in the mood for some summer heat/ shifter romance check  out Madison’s debut!

Write on my friends, write on!

Ellie

Unwritten

Life is constant chaos.  It throws curve balls at you,  it throws spit balls at you,  then when you’re expecting a  curve you get a speedball.

Do you ever wonder if  there is someone up there dropping trouble into a machine like they use at a batting cage?  NO? No one but me?

I tell you what, sometimes it seems  that would be more logical than what is truly going on.

I was expecting to dodge, parry, thrust and  my thrust was misdirected due to a secondary dodge and pivot. I try to anticipate, but more often than not I end up on the defense instead of offense. This is where that part of me that likes plan and order goes nuts.

Enter the magical powers of the bujo – my sanity keeper. Well, attempted sanity keeper.

For this month, I tried a new thing.

A weekly spread seemed like a good idea at the time.  It’s all right there and I wouldn’t be redundant in my daily to do lists.

 

 

 

 

 

 

But no.

As it turns out,  this wasn’t such a good idea. I entered a few things,  but for the most part, I  ignored it and fell into old habits.  Those habits that I worked so hard to break. The ones that kept me  in the same  loop time after time.

One feature that I do like however, is that little box in the middle of the right-hand page.  See that space called word count?  YES!   My weekly total for May 30 through June 5th – 7,321. For the week of June 6 thru June 12 however,  my word count for the week went up to 10,083 with a whopping 6352 for one day. This week I had one day with a word count of 6214, and a total for the week of 12,608. Do you see the trend?  Do you see the increase?  This part is working much better for me than the graph chart for the month.

Next month I’m going back to daily entries,  but I am going to figure out a way to incorporate this little gem. I like the freedom to doodle when I want. I like the idea of order and structure. It seems like the right thing to do but I find it inhibitive.  I would rather have the same to do list practically every single day, because face it –  life is routine most of the time and days blur into each other out of routine – than  have a sterile planner that I don’t use.

I think most of my friends would agree, this isn’t me.  The previous pages I’ve posted are more me. A little messy, a little artsy, a little order, . . . but all me. This is an idealistic  outline, sort of what I do with my books.

This is the backbone – the place to start.  Then we build from there. Will it have long legs? short legs? Will it have a tail?  domestic or wild?  Who knows what  it may morph into, but I can guarantee that it’s not  as simple as  this weekly layout. If you notice,  I had to  jazz it up a bit with a couple of flowers.

The section for Funky Junk –  that’s our resale business. I like that as well, as this past week I have some  great tips written down there.  I am considering  making a single page entry for our home business instead of just a little box. That way,  I can write down all those little tips and tricks and business ideas in the same place.

A bullet journal is a personal tool that can be adapted to meet your needs.  You don’t have  to do it the same way I do. Which is a good thing,  because I don’t have it all figured out yet either. I’m still molding mine to fit my hand.

Adapt, overcome, improvise!

You know the best part about a bullet journal as opposed to a preprinted planner?  It’s changeable. The outlines are unwritten. Nothing lays before my eyes but blank squares on a page, waiting to be transformed into a bright future.  You should write that down, that’s good stuff right there.

That’s all each of us have, each day of our lives –  blank squares  waiting to be transformed.

I should use that in a book!

Write on my friend, write on!

Ellie

 

Summer Lit Blitz – Zanzibar

As promised yesterday, my Summer Lit Blitz guest author! My apologies for the nonsensical post. Hey, your brain would be mush after a four-hour meeting too! Don’t judge!

Anyway, My guest is none other than the fabulous Zanzibar Schwarznegger.

1. Tell me a little about yourself. 

I’m a Figment. This means I’m a character someone created, but I don’t have a book, so no one knows about me. I’m also in the Character Witness Protection Program, so I can’t tell you where I’m from, but I’m currently running around the Pacific Northwest because The Conductor isn’t very fond of rain.

2. What is (are) your goal(s) for June? July? August? (whichever month you are being interviewed for)
   Goals would be good. Mostly I just write.
   Okay, very untrue. After a little time off for relocation (see Character Witness Protection deal), I am behind on my schedule, so I’m juggling three books in various stages and about to start outlining a fourth. Life is more fun with juggling. Circuses teach us that. Also, magic.

 

3. What is your best time management tip?
   Don’t stop writing. Ever.
   Barring that, set goals, set deadlines, and use Pomodoro technique (xx minutes of intense, focused activity followed by a break).

 

4. What is your best writing tip for newbies?
   Finish something. Really, finish anything. I think it’s always better if you can start with short stories because those have the quickest turnaround and give the fastest opportunities for learning, but some writers are afraid of short stories. Even if you’re writing a novel, write the whole thing,then whine about it.

 

5. Do you have a book coming out this summer?
   I’ve had three books out so far this year (one under a pseudonym because it wasn’t at all funny), so I don’t have anything else coming out until October. A Figment needs to sleep. Okay, I don’t, but I like to pretend I’m real.

 

6. What genre do you write?
   Humor, first and foremost. Then you can shunt my stuff into fantasy, YA, romance, and mystery, depending on the book. Why do one genre when they’re all so much fun?

 

7. Are you attending any author events over the summer?
   I was supposed to, but I had to cancel. Protective custody isn’t very protective if everyone knows where to find you.

8. Do you have a vacation planned for the summer? If so where? If not, when?
   My life is always a vacation, but I am leaving the vicinity of the Pacific Northwest for a while and heading to… wait. Is this a trick question? Do you know The Conductor?

9. What are your favorite summer foods? Activities?
   I love to camp and hike. S’mores are a must, although I’m not greedy, so s’less works, too. Iced coffees and teas, chilled watermelon, and a nice slab o’ dead creature on the grill works, too. Could you excuse me? I’m hungry now….

 

10. What quality do you most admire in a woman/man?
    A sense of humor.
    
11. What do you most value in a friend?
    I can forgive almost anything outside of walking away from a friendship. That’s getting a little too serious for me.

12. What is your favorite journey?
    One I didn’t plan, even though I’m a planner. Total plotser with a hint of panting.
    
    
13. Which book have you read the most in your lifetime?
    That’s a tough call. I have multiples that I have read more than five times, so I’m not sure. There’s certain books that are like having a talk with a friend you haven’t seen in years. No matter how many times you come back, the conversation is always fresh and you leave feeling refreshed.
    
    
14. If you could choose to be a character in a book, who would it be?
    I am a Character, I just haven’t found my book yet. Why be someone else when I’m so very awesomesauce on my own?
    
    
15. Will you share a picture of your writing space?
    I’m really starting to think you have something going with The Conductor. No, I cannot share anything that might give away my location.
    
    
16. Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
    A parent shouldn’t have a favorite child and a reader shouldn’t have a favorite hero. That’s just mean to the other kids.
    
    
17. What genre do you read most often?
    I can honestly say that I read everything but erotica and horror (although I’ll dip my toes into horror until they get chopped off). Oh, and westerns.  If I really want a description of a horse’s butt, I’ll go for a ride.

18.  Who are your favorite authors?
The ones I’m currently reading. Outside that, I love humor, so Jasper Fforde, Terry Pratchett (RIP), Douglas Adams. Currently on a Jim Butcher kick because he reminds me of R.R. Virdi, who I also enjoy.

   19.  Do you use real people as your characters or do you completely make them up? Describe your process.

Absolutely no real people. I do not have an evil queen based on the asker of these questions. That would be absurd.
Process: find a real person and force them to give me permission to warp them into something they don’t recognize. So far, it’s gotten good results.

(Permission was granted for the characterization of evil queen and THIS asker totally approves. Well, until she thought I could be easily replaced by a successor. Excuse me while I exterminate the pretenders!)

     20.  Is there one book that you wish that you had written? (Not for the profits – but for the quality of the writing.)

I wish I had written The Eyre Affair because it’s brilliant, but I could do it with less language. I don’t really need curse words to be funny, so I generally skip them. Also, I wish I had created Anne McCaffrey’s Pern. I could play there forever. Dragons rule.

 This has been great conversation, but  our time is nearly over.  Thank you for stopping in and sharing.  Do you have a bit you could share from your books? 

 

Veneri Verbum

Fantasy humor

Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/1312856076/

 

  

Writing a book may be the perfect solution to all of Christopher Cullum’s problems. He’s currently living at home (at age twenty-five), but his mom fears she’ll be doing his laundry forever. If he doesn’t accomplish something notable soon, she may invoke some tough love. He might even have to clean his room.

 

  

   “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like my crown back. In exchange, I’ll give you a free pass to your destination.”

     “If you’re evil, why would you do that?” Elsa asked archly.

     “Boredom, my dear.” [The evil queen] fingered the necklace around her pale white throat. “Besides, I like being the most evil being here. If he stays, who knows what kind of evil would show up?”

     Eric looked at the crown in his hands, then at Elsa and Christopher. He sighed. “Just when I get something nice.” Dragging every step, he walked up to the throne and returned the crown.

     “That’s better.” Ellie seated the crown on her head. Her elaborate hairdo immediately styled itself around the crown. “Time to die.”

     “But you said…”.

     “I’m sorry. Did you miss the part about being evil?” The queen clicked her tongue. “Honestly, I cannot understand why anyone trusts me. It’s like you’ve never read a book before.”

     Christopher blushed. “I read books. Sometimes. I have to read for classes.”

     The queen waved one hand airily. “Not my concern. Time to die. If you could scream a bit, I do like that part.”

 Zanzibar 7. Schwarznegger is a fictional Figment-Writer who escaped through a plot hole into the real world. He resides somewhere on the west coast of the United States and moves frequently under the Character Witness Relocation Program. He has spawned a number of plot bunnies, tribbles and squirrels. His hobbies include oxymoron acrostics, weekend adverbial warfare, and braving the terrors of parody flux on a dare. He occasionally remembers to update his website at www.zanzibar7.com.

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/zanzibar7Schwarznegger

Twitter: @Zanzibar7Writer

Email: zanzibar7schwarznegger@gmail.com

Website: http://www.zanzibar7.com/

 

 

Beta Beware

Fantasy humor

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1944707042/

DJ needs beta readers. She finds another writer, Christopher, who needs readers as well and offers a trade. What’s the worst that can happen? His book is boring or he doesn’t finish hers. Except there are worse things than boring books in the world of Figments. DJ is sucked into Christopher’s book, playing a game with very real consequences and no do-overs. Bring on the coffee!

 

 

“I bet she talks to me first.”

“I bet she’s already talked to me before.”

“I bet she wants to talk to me first, but feels sorry for you.”

“I bet she feels sorrier for you, but still likes me better, so she talks to me first.”

DJ couldn’t figure out which one was talking when and was starting to feel like the net in a tennis match. “How do you tell yourselves apart? Are you twins?”

Again they scowled at each other. “We used to be different people.”

“I was me. He was him.”

“We were separate. It was better.”

“Then the merge.”

“Bit of a death accident.”

“Or train.”

“I’ve forgotten exactly.”

DJ interrupted. “A train? You mean The Conductor got you, too?”

Again they looked at each other, this time without glaring. “We got her.” They smiled simultaneously and fist-bumped.

“Technically.”

“But there was dying.”

“Then the train jumped out of the plot hole.”

“Then… merge.”

“Now we’re a little of each other.”

“Less intimate than it sounds,” the dark-haired one assured her. “We don’t share anything.”

“Untrue,” the one on her left said. “We share things. We just don’t do it intentionally.”

“Mostly the same thing and less creepy than saying it the other way.” The one on the right checked his pocket watch. “Isn’t there supposed to be a case today?”

 

 The Annals of Bobian

YA humor

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1944707018/

The Bobian is twelve and has one goal in life: get ice cream. Unfortunately, life seems to be conspiring against him. Birthday parties gone awry. School bullies teaching him a (temporary) lesson in humility. Bratty little sisters and next door neighbor kids stealing his rightful reward. What’s a kid to do? There’s only one solution: The Bobian will defeat them all… even the time-changing aliens who are determined to keep him from summer.

 

Today was a special test. Today had started with a turkey craft, as if The Queen Mother didn’t have enough copies of his hand as an ugly bird stashed around the house. He tried to throw them away, but she always asked about them. A few of them had bonus trash stains or extra wrinkles.

After crafts, they practiced music, which meant the girls screeched loudly while the boys tried to pretend to sing without really singing. It was a stupid song anyway. Even kindergartners didn’t think turkeys were friends right before they ate them.

Recess would have been better, except that it was raining and the teachers always thought rain would make them melt. Other than the one girl who was allergic to everything and a teacher he was pretty sure was related to the witch who got melted by Dorothy, The Bobian didn’t think water could really hurt you. Soap and water… that was a different story. Plain old rain was no reason to cancel recess. That was just mean.

The day continued to be bad after recess. It was the day for that talk. The girls went away, which was good, but the teacher who came in to give that talk was older than the fossil The Bobian had in his rock collection.

“Alright. Class.” He stopped and looked around, obviously trying to figure out where he was. “Class. Right. We’re here to talk about…”. He frowned, which was like all his wrinkles made more wrinkles for the other wrinkles to talk about. “Oh. Yes. We’re here to talk about bodies. Male bodies.” He pushed his glasses further up his nose and looked around the room. “There aren’t any girls in here, are there?”

He smelled like dust. Not dirt, which would have been kind of cool, but dust. That was just weird.

 

If you are in the mood for a few laughs or a lot of laughs,  check out these books for your summer reads!

Write one my friends, write on!

Ellie

PSA

Public Service Announcement

Today’s post of Summer Lit Blitz has been preempted by a 4 hour long meeting.

4.

Long.

Grueling.

Hours. 

After the first twenty minutes my thoughts were as follows:

I wonder if Rick realizes he has spinach between his teeth.  Do we really need to review the  policies now?

Hmmm, that’s a new shirt that Rose is wearing, I wonder where she got it.  I’ll have to remember to ask her.  That reminds me,  I need to replace the white shirt I stained.

30 minutes:  Jody’s bag has a long canvas ribbon. I’ll bet you could probably strangle someone with that , or at least hold them hostage while demanding they unlock  the door to make your escape.

Jody’s bag has a long canvas ribbon. I’ll bet you could probably strangle someone with that, or at least hold them hostage while demanding they unlock  the door to make your escape.

How far would you get digging through the grout between the cinder blocks to make your escape?

I wonder if I could make my body form into a puddle and ooze out from under the door then reform. Nah, the  temperature outside would probably prohibit reformation and I’d be stuck as a puddle until winter.

Hour 1:

Manuma nump do do do doodoo.  Manumanump do do do do.

 

Hour 2:

My kingdom for a cracker. A slice of bread. A sip of water. Alms for the poor.

Wait he said a word we like. What was it? Go back repeat it, What did you say? What did you say??????  For God sake’s man repeat it-  you’ve repeated everything else at least twice.

Hour 3:

It was then that Saun realized he’d been locked into the room with zombies. No one else had noticed and he figured that if he remained still, they wouldn’t notice him. Perhaps if he employed  super slow mo Tai Chi moves to make his way to the door he could escape.

OH hells!  The speaker called on  me and I flinched.  Now they know. Now. They. Knowwwwwww.

Hour 3.5:

Finally, we get to the point that pertains to me.  My mind,  it’s melting into oblivion.  I can’t think.  can’t speak, it’s as if I were drugged into a stupor. OH wait,  no that was the lack of lunch and my blood sugar  has crashed. Critical condition,  you may begin to panic in 5. 4. 3.  . .

“Well. I know it was a long grueling meeting but we’ve accomplished a great deal.  Good job team! Keep up the good work.”

Hour 4:

FREEDOM!!!!!

Yeah,  that’s all I’ve got. My brain is mush.

You’ll get your post tomorrow. Until then, stay away from the zombie hoard.

Ellie

 

Sunday Snippet – The Paradise Plan

Courtesy of VL Locey

In a previous post, I mentioned about various projects.  I shared some snippets from Valkyrie’s Curse: The Awakening before it was sent to my beta readers.  I received some good feedback from them. Unfortunately, I don’t have any dates or details about a release date  on that one.

However, I can’t just sit idle twiddling my thumbs.  I brainstormed with my friend Misty on how to organize my plot, subplots, and back story in this newest venture. I have the raw material. I have specific scenes.  I have an overall arching plan that may extend into a series. What I didn’t have  however,  is the organized flow for the story.

I would still be fumbling over myself if Misty hadn’t  been my sounding board.  Sometimes, a woman just needs to talk it out in order to unwind the strands of spaghetti.

To that effect, I share my first snippet from The Paradise Plan. Keep in mind that this is first draft material and unedited.

“Why can’t I dispose of the body that way?” Melissa exhaled a deep sigh of frustration as she grabbed the industrial cleaner from the shelf. A few seconds of pause as she crossed her left arm over her midsection, her head tilted at a slight angle, her lips pursed. She’d thought for days to come up with that particular scenario. Countless hours of YouTube videos, too many to even remember about proper tool handling, had filled those days with one dead-end after another until she lit upon this particular idea of using a pneumatic nail gun to kill the victim, then leave him hanging in the ropes dangling off the 8th floor at the construction site. She thought it was perfectly thought out.

“I don’t see why that is a problem. That’s kind of the point, Roz. So he’s discovered the next day and his partner knows that he could be next.”

Do I have your attention yet?  That is my opening. It gets better.  Let me know what you think about this opener.  Again, it is subject to change as it is a first draft. It’s good to be back in  writing mode again,  but I’m also anxious to get some of these others revised and finished.

Write on my friends, write on!

Til next time,

Ellie

Queen of First Drafts — Author Misty Harvey

Hello, Readers! Happy Friday to all! As the title states, I am the queen of first drafts. They’re what I know how to do. I can write them with an outline and without an outline now. However, once that original manuscript is complete I become a floundering fool. I know at this point that the […]

via Queen of First Drafts — Author Misty Harvey

Go check out my friend Misty’s blog. She shares her experiences with first drafts, revisions, and edits.

Character Interview: Ellie Mack’s Harold

(Kelly was written by Kelly Blanchard. Harold was written by Ellie Mack.) Harold Jackowski carried the caramel Frappuccino to the small table where Louise had sat down, nestled in the shade by the …

Source: Character Interview: Ellie Mack’s Harold

Plan With Me – Step 3

Part of a series that I’ve been doing over on the Bard page.

Eclectic Bard Books

Over the past two weeks, I’ve been  going over a simple plan to expedite the writing process.  You can find the previous posts here:

• Plan With Me
• Plan With Me- Step 1
• Plan With Me – Step 2 

As with the previous step,  the following will be different depending on the path you choose.

Step 3- Set Up Your Support System

Where:  Have a place to write that allows solitude without distractions. It is essential to  reduce as many distractions as possible. Keep the temperature at a comfortable level for you. Generally, a cooler temperature  keeps your body alert while warm and cozy can make you drowsy.

When: Schedule the time that you are going to write. Make and keep the appointment with yourself. Is it during the day? during the evening? on the weekends? Set a schedule!  Aren’t your dreams and goals valuable?  Then treat them as such.  Write it…

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24 Things Women Over 30 Should Wear

Being a woman over 30, I have wondered numerous times – what gives you the right, or anyone the right to tell me or any other woman regardless of age what they should or shouldn’t wear? I’ve dealt with this type of BS for most of my life! Plus sized gals should not wear . . . Older women should not wear. . . . younger girls should not wear. . . . . . You don’t pay for my clothes or makeup or hair. I DO. I make the decisions, not you. YOu don’t like it, too bad!

Warning:Curves Ahead

This morning, as I was perusing my Facebook timeline, I happened upon an article that a lovely friend shared. It was entitled “24 Things Women Should Stop Wearing After Age 30”, and it triggered Maximum Eye-Rolling from everyone who took the time out to read it.

Written by Kallie Provencher for RantChic.com, this “article” (I use the term loosely) highlighted things such as “leopard print”, “graphic tees”, and “short dresses” (because “By this age, women should know it’s always better to leave something to the imagination”). Kallie, it seems, has a number of opinions on what women over 30 should and shouldn’t be doing, having also penned “30 Things Women Over 30 Shouldn’t Own” and “20 Pictures Women Over 30 Need To Stop Posting Online”. (What is this magical post-30 land where women are suddenly not allowed to do or own so many things?!)

Motivated by Kallie’s “article”, I decided to…

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