It’s Never That Simple

I know some of you were already thinking it when you read my earlier post made  at 12:10 this morning. I can  hear the gears grinding in Cassidy’s head from here.

I can hear all of the old adages. Just wait. Don’t count your chickens before they are hatched. Don’t have the celebratory “toot toot” too soon.

*head desk*

Most of us are self-aware enough to know when we’ve done a good job, a mediocre job, a not up to par job,  and especially when we’ve half-assed it.   I’m not  pleased with the last edit job for the amount of time that it’s taken me to complete. I was thorough, I gave  the author  quality work but it wasn’t timely.

On this course manual however, I knew I did an excellent job.  It’s thorough, concise, and completed with a spirit of excellence. Their words, not mine.  In fact, they were so impressed. . . .   yeah when you hear those words and you’re getting praise for a job well done,  there is a moment of panic because you know it’s coming.  You know.

Blah blah blah, pat on the job,  blah blah job well done, we knew we could count on you to produce quality work, blah blah –  I can’t really tell you what the other stuff was after that because that’s when it hit me.  OH NO.

NO NO NO NO NO! What else? There is always  the next thing when you do good work. Don’t get me wrong,   I absolutely believe that we should do our best and not slack off.  This is how it works in the business world.  You do a good job you get promoted.  Your work gets noticed, you get the raise.  You want your name tied to quality. Isn’t that one of our goals to secure future work?  YES! Yes it is and that’s the problem.

I blame myself for the short sightedness. I didn’t look past this job to the “what next”.  I entered the “deadline game”.  Give me a minute to breathe and I’ll get to the point.

I have been so focused on the deadlines of these projects that I  overbooked myself. (Yes, again.) Savannah over at EBB called me on it last month.  I  never put myself as a priority. That’s what I was working towards, making time for me to write and pursue my dreams.  Time to write what I want to write. That block of time I carved out for ME. AS soon as I finish these jobs that I have hanging over my head. . . . the deadline looms on the horizon. . .  and I was short sighted not even thinking past that deadline other than ” block of time for me”!

“We are so impressed with the job that you did on this manual that we’d like for you to take this project to the next step as well. If that  goes well, we’d like for you to take a look at some other  publications as well. ”

I should have seen this coming. That’s what I’m upset about. Also, I have a problem saying no.  I said I’d do it, but I gave them a  super long time table as to how long it would take me to finish so that I can still have blocks of time for writing. They are just child sized blocks now.