Welcome to my blog!
I’ve been doing the MFRW blog hop for a while, kind of hit or miss. I’ve tried to get back onto the WEWRIWA Sunday Snippets, mostly off. Things have been hectic and overwhelming lately, so of course, I decided to do a new thing! You know how I love new things!
For the month of June, I will be posting Definition.
The first week is defining moments.
Day 5 – Public Speaking
I am an extrovert. I’m the kind of extrovert that most introverts hate. I will talk to strangers in an elevator. I will smile and say how you doing to a stranger as I pass them in the hallway. In fact, I will confront someone who is doing something uncouth. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to be stupid about it.
When my mother was in the hospital numerous times, I hate that ‘get on the elevator and stare straight ahead and don’t talk to anyone’ thing. The guy is holding a plant with a Congratulations on a new baby balloon – heck yeah I’m going to comment “Good news I see” Or if it’s nothing so obvious I’ll comment about the weather – whether it’s hot, cold, raining, or gorgeous.
Most people will respond with at least a nod. Here’s the thing though, our society has been teaching kids for ages “Don’t talk to strangers”. But, in a self-defense class, one of the things that they said was rapists and muggers will target the fearful. I don’t cower. I don’t walk with my shoulders slumped, or curved inward. I walk with my head held high and if a guy is coming towards me with intent to harm me, I’m going to make the biggest loudest scene I can. 98% of criminals will walk the other way and wait for an easier target.
For that 2% – I have pepper spray and know some maneuvers to protect myself. Anyway, this isn’t about not making myself a victim. This is about the extrovert thing.
When I was in college and had to give a presentation to the department staff for my senior theses, I was shaking like a leaf. When I was first asked to speak publicly it was awkward, filled with OK, and ummms, but I lived. The next time it was easier. If I have the time to add lib a little I can have the audience laughing.
I’ve mentioned before that I try to use the EIEIO method, it seems to work for me. Along with informing and educating, you have to entertain them at least a little. If you can do that you can keep their attention.
OK, well it may help that I’ve been told that I should be a stand-up comedian as well. Not going to happen, but I use the sense of humor to help with speaking. My largest crowd so far has only been about 150 people which is small, but I’m not done yet.
Day 6 -Moment of Clarity
I really don’t have a better way of describing this. So here goes.
Several months ago, the doctor prescribed a medication for me to deal with the increased anxiety after the cancer diagnosis. Part of that is I can’t “cope” with the same habits I had before. I am a stress eater. I have self-medicated myself most of my life to avoid the feels, the hurts, and the emotions. Just being honest. If you have ever watched Biggest Loser, you’d see that the majority of fatties are in the same boat. It’s not the simple formula of less food in more calorie output equals weight loss.
Why does someone eat themselves up to 200, 250, 300 or more pounds? It’s insulation. Insulation from having to deal with life. Having to deal with our past. Having to deal with emotional wounds and baggage.
So I can’t do that anymore, most of the “comfort foods” I would turn to are now off the menu because of the big C. Hence, the increased anxiety.
So I was taking this medicine and my daughter commented that I was considerably more chill. IF it weren’t for some very bad side effects that I couldn’t live with, it really did help. During the time I was taking it, I could see clearly the issues. I could see that the problem was that I had all these emotional issues that I would have formerly turned to food and that wasn’t an option. I’ve said before, the best diet in the world doesn’t fix the most important six inches.
During one of those moments of clarity, I was reading some articles that the dietician had directed me to, and one of them was a quiz for a food addict. I got a perfect score! NO, that’s not a good thing. I had to say yes to every single question. I never put two and two together, but after answering those questions, I can see it.
Trigger foods that cause that reaction inside my body or head, that I have to have more. The biggest triggers across the board are sugar, carbs, chocolate, fast foods, and most junk foods. A new study shows that the brains of women with food addictions are similar to drug addictions and an alcoholic. Since then, I’ve recognized the cycle and been able to stop before binging. I”m happy to say I’ve stayed on the wagon.
We all have our issues, don’t judge.
DAY 7- The Big C
Cancer has a way of leveling the playing field. One day, you’re carefree and even though you know you’re not immortal, you plan to live to a ripe old age and spoil grandbabies and cause a ruckus at the old folk’s home. (I’ve already warned my kids that if they stick me in a home it better be in Florida or I’ll be causing a scene weekly.)
Then one day you get a diagnosis that literally changes your life. Cancer is an equal opportunity bastard of a disease. It doesn’t care what race, religion, persuasion, financial status, or age you are.
At first, I was in shock. I’ve shared before that from the date of diagnosis to the day of surgery was a whirlwind that didn’t give me time to think. It’s just as well. It was during the radiation treatment while taking the oral medications that I had a true “Come to Jesus” moment.
I was slapped in my face with my own mortality, and I very much view this as a second chance to get it right. What was important to me?
What did I want to accomplish in my life?
What would my legacy be?
The most important thing to me is my family. I decided that I would make certain to spend time with my family, including my siblings and extended family.
I wanted to publish as many of my books as I could get out. I looked at the pace I was going and realized that I was a long way from getting even half of them out if I didn’t kick it into gear. When I first tried to sit down and write, I couldn’t focus. My mind was blank. I cried numerous times thinking that I may have lost my opportunity. However, after radiation was over and I was slowly beginning to recover, it started coming back to me and I was determined in a way that I was never determined before.
I don’t even care if people don’t like Roxy Sings the Blues, it will forever be an important milestone to me because I managed to finish that after Cancer. It made me realize that if I wanted to achieve my goals, I was going to have to put out a concerted effort which meant I have to focus.
There are many other moments in our lives that we could say are defining moments and many other moments. It’s what we do with those moments that matter.
What are your defining moments?
Write on my friends, write on!