Much like the weather, our lives tend to run in seasons. We have seasons of growth, where we learn new things, such as our college years, or learning to care for an aging parent. We have seasons of winter, where things seem dead, cold, brittle. Perhaps just after a breakup, the death of a loved one, or even the death of our dreams. We have seasons of a long hot summer, where things seem to drag on, the heat gets to us, but we keep going and try to keep our thirst quenched.
My husband and I are coming out of a season of summer. You do the things that are necessary because they need to be done, and after a while the long hot days can wear you down. We’ve been plugging along, not making much gains, doing life as it comes, and being responsible – or in other words, adulting. Let me tell you, adulting sucks! Being responsible sucks. Being a responsible adult isn’t fun, but on the flipside, being a responsible person, or people, we can’t accept the consequences of not being responsible therefore we continue in our responsibilities. Does that make sense? It made sense in my head.
In March, my Mother in law had a hemorrhagic stroke. This has not been fun, but this is one of those things life throws at you and you have to deal with it. MY friend Emily’s fiancee was in the hospital for his heart and had to postpone her wedding and their trip to the US. These are things life throws at us that we don’t sign up for.
These are the unexpected crisis that demand our attention, and we either learn to cope, have a fall apart, or some combination of the two.
However, we can see the sunlight after the storm. My Mother in law has made a lot of improvement and the doctor thinks she will continue to improve, and possibly regain her independence. Hallelujah! I start a new job at the end of the month after Memorial Day, in a totally different field than what my degree is in, but it’s something that sounds exciting to me, certainly more exciting than crunching numbers doing mortgages!
Our eldest daughter finished her last full semester of college, all that remains for her to graduate is her student teaching, and she got an assignment at a premier school district in St. Louis. In a few weeks, we will move her back here, or rather up the road a little further to share an apartment with one of her good friends.
Our youngest daughter just changed jobs, is ready to purchase a car and is talking of moving out sometime in June to share a house with a few of her friends.
I have other news pertaining to writing that is fantastic, but I can’t share it just yet. It’s good news though.
I shared with Misty, “You better pinch me, I think I’m dreaming. It’s like everything suddenly is falling into place, the storm is clearing and the rainbow is in the sky.”
It has been a long hard summer for us, in our lives. The stress has gotten to me on more than one occasion and I’ve crumbled under emotional strain, reverted to bad habits, cried, pouted, and lots of other things I won’t even mention.
A part of me is looking around, wondering when the other shoe will fall. I keep trying to tell that part to shut up, and stop expecting the worst. Isn’t it about time we deserve a break? Isn’t it about time we start reaping some rewards and have some good in our lives?
Anyone else ever feel like that?
I’m not saying that our lives suck, because they don’t. We have plenty of good things in our lives. The thing is though, we’ve been under a lot of stress for what seems like a looooooooooong time. It’s sort of like after the storm passes, and the sky is brilliant blue. There are some branches or twigs scattered across the lawn, water is flowing across the driveway, and the relief is tangilbe that the storm has passed. The only thing left is to clean up the debris and celebrate that we survived.
That’s kind of how I feel right now, like we need to celebrate for making it through the long drought summer, but we can’t celebrate too soon because some of the things haven’t actually happened yet. Soon, but not yet.
We are definitely entering a new season. We may be entering a season of sandwich – with one adult child at home and possibly an aging parent in our home. That is undecided yet – and potentially she can go back to her own home.
I’m starting a new job that I see as rewarding, exciting, and is something I am fully confident that I can do. I am entering the world of caregiver – for pay. I did it for my mother without compensation, I raised my kids, it seems like an easy fit to me and the way the job came about is an odd story in itself. Not looking to get rich, but have a little cushion with all of the medical bills I’ve accumulated.
Our plans to move were put on hold yet again. Once we know where things stand with his Mom, we can move forward again.
It’s all good! I feel like we should be singing that song from Wizard of Oz, “You’re out of the woods” or Elton John’s “I’m Still Standing”.
I’ve heard people refer to my mother as a tough ol’bird, well I guess I take after her a lot more than I’d like to admit because I’m one tough chick!
On another note, I tend to do better with fitting my writing in when I have to have a schedule – point being – I have little to show for my writing since becoming unemployed in December. Whether from pouting, wasting time, going through stuff, or just making excuses to explain away my lack of productivity, I did much better without an open ended schedule.
I’d be willing to bet that there are many of you who are coming out of a dark dreary season, and are relieved to see the post storm rainbow in the sky. I know I can’t be the only one.
Write on my friends, write on!