My Social Media Hangouts #MFRWauthor


badge-blog-challenge-updated

Welcome to week 15 of the 52-week MFRW blog challenge.  Each week I will post something about that week’s topic. Ready to play?

This week’s prompt:

“My Social Media Hangouts”

Yeah, I was real original on that title, wasn’t I?

 

I would have to say, I probably spend most o my social media time on Facebook. I’m terrible with twitter, I have my posts set up to tweet automatically. Sometimes when I get a notification I will remember to go check and comment or share,  but most of the time it’s out of sight out of mind.

I will go over to Tumblr about once a month maybe. Last month I completely forgot.

I have an Instagram account but I haven’t shared anything on there in many weeks. I  no longer have a Linkedin account.

If you want to catch me online your best bet is Facebook or Pinterest. But I don’t think you can message anyone on Pinterest, it’s just a bottomless pit of distraction. Like for instance, last weekend I was looking for ideas for my office, wondering what I could do with a small space and purple walls.  I kid you not –  the walls are purple. I’m not really a purple kind of gal. Plus, I don’t think a dark color in such a small space is a good idea.

It’s about 7 feet by 12 feet. You can’t tell from the pictures but the walls “sparkle” with glitter.  I have no idea what sort of business was in here before me. Something girly I’m betting.  My furniture will arrive next week. I’m going to buy some white/sheer striped curtains to replace the purple. I have a couple of silver frames to go on the wall in which I have to display my license and some other legal documentation. I’m also going to try to find some art for the walls as well.  It’s not much, but hey, I finally have an office!  This is not an online hangout though. There is no internet connection at the location yet.

You can find me online at the following:

Facebook  Ellie Mack author

Twitter- @Mack_Ellie

Pinterest- Ellie Mack

My blog- Quotidiandose but if you’re reading this – you’re already here!

You can find out where the other authors hang out as well by visiting them here:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Til next time!

Write on my friends, write on!

Ellie

 

 

 

 

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Don’t Poke Mama Bear


Quotidiandose does not own the rights to this image.  All rights reserved to artist.

Quotidiandose does not own the rights to this image. All rights reserved to artist.

I’ve gotten used to being excluded from family  gatherings over the years.  I suppose it started with the age gap – I’m considerably younger than my siblings.  I’m also older than my nieces and nephews.  My aunts and uncles are much older,  my father being the youngest in his family and me being a late life baby and all.

My sisters are close – they are a little over a year apart, grew up with each other and they have a bond that is amazing.  My brothers used to be close – they had each other growing up, with only three years between them. Then there’s me – out there on my own. I’ve sort of gotten used to it but there are times when the exclusion hurts.

Facebook is a remarkable tool to see what’s going on in the world, with your friends and family, and in your community. It’s also the devil’s bane to see what’s going on in the world, with your friends and family and so on.  I’m sure everyone is well aware of the horrors going on in Ferguson, Missouri by now; a neighborhood that is considerably closer than I am comfortable with.

Amidst all the wonderful pictures I see for back to school first day of school – I didn’t post any, my youngest is starting her senior year and glared at me with the death dagger stare at the idea of snapping her picture – I set my phone down and backed away slowly – I find a post on my wall that  not only excludes me but my kids.  REALLY?

I’m used to crap from my family, you know every family has conflicts, everyone has arguments but usually in the end when push comes to shove we are blood and we bond together even if it’s only for that brief amount of time. But now the  fecal mater is flying in my husband’s family.  I have to assume it’s me as I am the common denominator.

You can hate me all you want – I really don’t care what anyone beyond my husband and kids think about me anymore. I’ve had it up to my eyeballs with “better than thou” opinions,  the eye-rolls, the gossip.  Seriously, get a life!  But when my kids are slighted  – it’s ON.

Now here’s the thing, I’ve never met the offender in person.  I had the flu over the last gathering when my kids met her.  I’ve never said one word to her, never spoken on the phone with her but this woman just had strike 3 you’re  out.  I know  people talk, and when you’re not around you are the one that is most often talked about.

I’ve refrained any judgment up to this point. For those of you who don’t know  my  personality, let me give you a brief introduction.  I’m usually easygoing, can be the life of the party, spontaneous, laugh easily ( for which I’ve been criticized for laughing too loud, and being unladylike because I joke around),  am generally good-natured, and it takes a lot to make me angry.  I am a good listener – sometimes, other times I am too talkative.  I take life  as it comes and usually don’t get too bent out of shape by most things.  Slow to anger but once I am,  very reluctant to give that second chance.  I don’t judge others – I let their behaviour speak, and in essence they prove themselves one way or the other.  I have strong opinions but you know where you stand with me.

If you’ve read some of my rants here, you know when things set me off but to be honest,  those are rare.  However, having said that once you cross me and prove to be a gossip, talk behind my back, I’m done with you.  You cross my children or slight them – it’s on.  Hell hath no fury like a mother whose children are hurt. 

Like I said I’ve gotten used to being slighted by family.  It’s no biggie to me,  I am  in between the generations,  and don’t really fit into either very well.  BUT,   my kids are a different matter.  In a sense we’ve sort of gotten used to certain exclusions of them by proxy.  You aren’t hurting me or the kids.  What you are doing is creating the lack of a relationship between you and them.

I realize that the offending parties are too wrapped up in their own drama and self-absorbed to the level that they never see beyond the end of their own nose to even understand the full impact of those hurtful words.  Let me clue you in:  you’ve just driven a wedge between you and these beautiful young ladies who are  intelligent, have moral integrity, and more class than you could ever hope to have.   Cutting remarks made flippantly cause irreparable damage to tender hearts.

My heart?  I’m too old to care what they think or give a crap about whatever drama it is that  they feel necessary to create. My girls however are young, impressionable, and vulnerable.  It’s not my fault  that the offending parties are too stupid to realize they are burning down the bridge that they are standing on.  I know my children well enough to know that this will hurt them deeply.  I want to protect them, tell them it’s a mistake, but when it’s posted by the individual publicly on their Facebook wall, how can you deny what is said?  I also know my children well enough that this will be a line drawn in the sand that will not be easily forgiven or forgotten.

I’ve spent the past 20 years trying to teach my kids  to behave properly, have good manners,  treat people as you would like to be treated, watch your mouth, refrain from expressing your opinion when it might hurt someone . . . and then the people who are supposed to care about them, supposed to be there for them, stab them in the back with a butcher knife.

That can’t be undone.  What I can do now is offer my daughter’s this bit of advice, and I hope that you see some value in it as well.

Confront your path with courage, and don’t be afraid of the criticism of others. And above all, don’t allow yourself to become paralyzed with self-criticism. 

I need to work on that myself.  There are times when I let the criticism get to me. There are far too many times when I am my own worst enemy with self-criticism. I want better for my girls, therefore I must strive to do better with myself.

I hope that in some small way you have benefited from a motivational post, or something uplifting by reading my blog.  It is not my wish to create strife for anyone.  All of us are trying to live the best we can, and I know it’s  not everyone that finds it necessary to be  the vinegar of life.  Most of us prefer to be the honey. But when combined, they balance each other out – the one not too bitter and the other not too sweet.  I do hope though that my posts offer a pleasant sweetness to your day, and that you keep coming back.

Life is too short to let the opinion’s of others hold you down, or make you feel  less valuable than anyone else.  I am concerned for my children, but I am also confident that they are mature enough to see this for what it is.  However,  I also know that there will be many tears before they see it.

I remember when my youngest was not quite 2, and was throwing a bit of tantrum.  My friend looked at my daughter with the big gorgeous brown eyes,  long lashes, her lips curled slightly quivering as tears rolled down her face and she said, ” Oh my gosh, how can you ever say no to her?  No one could ever bring themselves to harm such a beautiful child.”

Sadly, not everyone was of that opinion.  It’s their loss for cutting  these precious gems from their life, it’s their life that will be lacking for not knowing their inner beauty, because I know after the dust settles that my girls are strong and they will do the right thing.  I  will never force a relationship on them with anyone that doesn’t value them whether blood relation or not.  This is just one of those hard lessons of life.

I hope that you value the people in your life.  they may have their faults,   they may be annoying even but we should be thankful for them, even for the hard lessons. Be the better person, don’t degrade yourself to their asinine behaviour.

Write on my friends, and live your life with grace!

 

 

 

Treasures


geode-2Sometimes good things come  when you aren’t even looking for them.  I’ve  ranted here before about the  vampires and about the  time wasters.    A couple of good friends have recently been reminding me  to stop giving my time to free loaders and  vampires.  They are right.

My wonderful coach has been  trying to  get the point across that my time is just as valuable as anyone else’s.   We know this, yet we devalue ourselves.   It’s so easy to slip into the same patterns. I have a hard time saying ‘no’ to people.   Some play on my compassion, others want my skills for no pay.  Friends come wanting favors,  coworkers want information, family want attention.  Pretty soon you are stretched into  thirty directions wondering why you can’t seem to focus or get anything accomplished  on your own dreams.  Gee – I wonder why.

So, I’ve gotten myself into a jam ( imagine that!) with  certain habits of  giving my time to  above mentioned ‘negative’ individuals.  It’s been a real painful  exercise in extracting myself from those  situations.   I’ve really cut down my social media time as I would find myself spending way too much time with my Facebook friends than is healthy.

I’ve been  changing  habits and relearning how to write.  that may sound funny, but I’ve over edited myself.  I’ve  been told by numerous people that  I’ve  over edited myself, or censored what I let out.  to some degree that is a good thing except when you have  cut out over half the story.

This new method of writing has greatly reduced my daily word count.  Where I was getting 2000 to 2500 words before,   now I reach about 300 to 350 before the editor kicks in.   Now the difference is, I have 300 quality words, not 2000  sugar-coated cleaned up and polished sugar fluff that  my inner voices are shushed.

Remember me mentioning those dark recesses?  The dark passages beyond the deep pools?   Well inner editor,  uber Nazi Fräulein doesn’t want any of those to get out.  She’d burn my entire stack of manuscripts if I let her.   I can manage to sneak about 300 words or so past her before she  pays attention.

Lately though, I’ve  had a true treasure  fall into my  lap so to speak.   You know those people who you are supposed to hang out with?  The ones  that  encourage you?  The ones that add value to your life?   I asked  a while back where those people were in my life and I had to make  changes.    As it happens, I felt down   and decided  that I would  go visit the groups I was in on Facebook, something that I  have greatly cut back on.  In one particularly enjoyable  group I made a new friend.  It’s astonishing how many similarities we have.

I feel like we instantly bonded, and we have been  chatting fairly regularly since.  This person is a true treasure.  One that adds value to my life, one that challenges me to do more and be more.    I’ve already observed a difference in myself and my outlook since we’ve been sharing and chatting.

  • He’s free with compliments whereas I’ve been used to listening to criticism.  Wow, can’t tell you what a difference that makes.
  •  He encourages me in my writing –  in addition to listening to my inner editor, I’ve had  family tell me  to stop chasing dreams that I didn’t have the talent to obtain.  That really stung, and although I didn’t want to believe that  it affected me.
  • He seems to value my opinion.   In a world where big busted women are looked at as brainless bimbos I can’t tell you how much  respect  this particular point   won him.
  • We seem to have common interests and opinions .  When you’ve been feeling like maybe  everyone else is right and there’s something wrong with you, that you’re the messed up one  it’s   phenomenal to  find like-minded people.

Through conversation he’s encouraged me and I’ve tried to be encouraging to him.  We’ve found common ground where we can share our opinions, likes and dislikes.   This has really made an impact on my outlook and improved my daily word count tremendously.

If you notice my picture at the top of the geode, it’s there to make a point. I could have just as easily used the rock analogy from ‘Bug’s Life’, but I wasn’t sure how many would get it.  So instead my geology degree kicks in and I give you a rock.  On the outside, most of us look like plain rocks. We vary in shade, circumference, and density but we appear as unassuming run of the mill rocks.  But, when you cut open rocks you’ll find in some  beautiful treasure.  Now I’m not suggesting that I  or anyone else cut my new friend in half – what’s wrong with you people?

NO, I am suggesting that when you  look beyond the surface, when you get to know the person, once in a great while you find a geode.  ON the outside could be  just a plain rock, but to the trained geologist  they recognize  potential.

I grossly underestimated my  friend’s inner treasure.  The more we talk,  the easier it is to  talk.   I am feeling once again confident in my abilities, and enthusiastic about  pursuing the goal.

I have  loads of friends, and  most are not  vampires.  This particular friend has made a huge impact on me already.  Sometimes you just click with  the person.  I only hope that in some way I  add value to his life.  I would really be bummed to find out that  he considers me a time vampire.

Who do you have in your life that encourages you?  Who   helps you to achieve your dreams?  Who values you for  the things you value?

Get out of the rut and the mundane and start living your life with  passion.  If you can’t be passionate about  it, why bother?  For the past several months recovering from  a plethora of things life has dealt, I’ve had little passion therefore have written little.   All it takes is a spark to reignite the fires within.  I’ve got my spark, and now the fire is blazing.

Write on my friends, and do it with PASSION!