What do you do for motivation?
Is it reading? Are you motivated by those little pictures that your friends share on Facebook? What motivates you to keep going when you’ve hit the wall? Ah, now there is a different matter. It takes a different kind of motivation to start, than it does to continue, or even to persevere when you meet with adversity.
In a recent discussion with fellow writers, the topic of experience came up. One young writer blushed profusely while sharing her difficulty in writing “those” scenes when she had yet to experience them. Yes, that experience. We all have our own ideas when it comes to love and romance. The typical “dinner and a show” date that is common fare isn’t for everyone. Some prefer attending a football game, cuddling together under a blanket. Some prefer an active date; playing golf or racing moto-cross. Some prefer the cozy comfort of dinner at home then a shared movie.
So it only stands to reason that once we get to that moment, “the move” isn’t going to work the same on all of us. The winning combination that may have scored with Lizzy, leaves Mark scratching his head wondering what’s the problem with Anita. Anita is wondering what the heck Mark is doing, Mark is thinking there must be something wrong with Anita for not getting into it, and when Lizzy finds out that Mark is with Anita I doubt his winning combination is going to work on her any more either!
So the conversation progressed from kisses to more intimate loving. A little bit of humor helps ease the tension in the room, and we can discuss what things typically do work. What makes that first knee-popping kiss?
As an innocent girl, my ideas were much different from my ideas now as a married woman. I listened more than I talked. I observed their subtle reactions, the embarrassed grins, the blushing cheeks, the twirling of hair as they shared their own ideas. It was refreshing, encouraging, and challenging.
Mother was right, once you say yes, you can never go back. When innocence is taken by force, it is a hard thing to get past. It’s hard to imagine the dreamy state of the innocent teen girls. How much easier would it be for them to write a YA novel? The perspective they offer allows a more real perspective than a mature woman. Likewise, it should be easier for me to write those intimate scenes. You’d think so anyway, right?
Writing a really steamy scene is in some ways like videotaping your fantasy relationship. It’s not necessarily anything you’ve ever actually experienced, but perhaps something you wish had or would happen. Often it’s not even your own personal fantasies, and here’s where a lot of readers of erotica don’t seem to get it, it’s your characters fantasies. It has nothing to do with what you wold do, or how you would do it in your own personal life. Of course you’d have to have three dimensional characters to realize this.
For example: I’ve never been to a castle. I’ve never been kissed on the high parapets of a tower. I’ve never had a picnic there either, but it was what Zane decided to do to get to know his beautiful guest Isabel when they shared their first kiss.
Most fiction readers get that it’s fiction. There are those however that don’t seem to understand that concept. I know as writer’s we are told to write what you know, but can you imagine a world where the writer knew what he wrote about?
That would mean that the murder mystery writer had committed murder. The science fiction writer who tells a tale about aliens had experience with aliens. That guy that wrote the Zombie book – yeah. A historical fiction writer would have had to live during the time. Ridiculous
I have to say though, I must be impressive to someone. Someone that imagines that I can time travel, shape shift into a dragon, work magic, have power over the Fae world and dragon world, as well as experience every detail in my other stories; I rock!
Yes, hail the all-powerful creator of fictional universes, conqueror of dragons and Fae!
I can’t even type it with a straight face.
Just because someone writes about a topic in fiction doesn’t mean they “live” or experience the things they write about. A young writer is just as capable as a more mature writer in fiction. Experience is a good teacher, but a good writer can use what they have within them to create their own masterpiece!
Don’t let anyone put limits on you because of your youth, or your maturity. The last person that told me I was too old to do something was put to shame when I proved myself. (OK, I was saying a little prayer of Thank you God! inside that I didn’t embarrass myself.)
Write what you know, dare to write what you don’t know. Regardless of what genre you choose,
Write on my friends, write on!