Same Difference

There are times when people say the stupidest things, and you’re suppose to play it cool.  Grammatical errors are common place. Some have become the norm.  This happens to be one of my “pet peeves” .

While attending a barbecue, one of the guests–Sue– announced she would not be eating the meat, she had become vegetative.  I couldn’t help it, I sprayed tea all over my daughter in an instantaneous reaction.  So much for playing it cool.  The woman spoke volumes.

In my defense, I respect those individuals have decided to live a vegan lifestyle.  Maybe it’s health concerns, maybe it’s moral conscience, whatever it is I applaud you.  It leaves more meat for me.  And yes, I know where meat comes from.  My parents raised poultry, and  I gathered eggs.  I’ve seen the big brown eyes of cows.  I’ve seen the adorable baby pigs.  And yes, I even like venison.

I eat meat.  There!  I’ve said it, and I’m not changing my mind.  Grilled, baked, fried, roasted, smoked, and especially barbecued; I enjoy meat.  Of course, I’m not prejudice, I eat veggies too.  They fill in the space beside the meat on the plate. Let’s not forget the fruit and dairy.  I do have a fondness for dairy.  Ted Drew’s’ livelihood depends on dairy, and I fully support his career choice. If you visit St. Louis, you must have a Ted Drews! While my omnivorous diet isn’t for everyone, it’s definitely for me.

I thought about going vegan once.  Ten minutes later, I heard the honey-glazed ham calling my name and resigned myself that it was destiny.  It’s good to be at the top of the food chain.

In Sue’s defense, she may have actually been commenting about her mental state.  I’ve questioned her brain activity before but figured that since she was able to walk and talk–not necessarily at the same time–she was merely clueless.  Sue is a very beautiful woman who is tall, slender and could easily be a model.  I have a theory that really thin beautiful women are actually so starved of nutrients that their brains can’t function and have shut down the intellectual synapses to conserve life-sustaining functions.

After apologizing for my faux-pas and trying to wipe up the tea, I explained that I thought her misuse of words humorous.  She looked at me like I was a Cretin, and said “It’s the same difference.”

For the record vegetative refers to the absence of brain functions. This condition usually requires life support systems.  Vegetarian refers to the dietary choice to not eat animal flesh or animal byproducts, sometimes  including milk and eggs.

Apparently to Sue, they are one and the same.

Have a great day and go eat some barbecue!

Write on my friends, write on!