Turning Yawn Into Wow!

You’re reading a romance, the scene is coming where you know they are going to go for it.  You’re anticipating the scene.  The buildup has got you on the edge of your seat.  Then it falls flat.

Why?  I’ve noticed in some of the books I’ve read that some authors seem to think that sex or love-making involve the genitals and nothing else.  How boring is that?  The rest of the writing up to this point has been acceptable, then they get into these scenes and for whatever reason – they doink.

Face it, women want romance!  It’s why we spend our hard-earned cash on romance novels, even cheesy ones!  Romance is more than a small kiss on the lips, tuning the radio dials, a little touch to verify that the correct equipment is in the target zone then taking the plunge! Hello!

The use of “purple prose” adds to the lackluster scene when his manhood touches against her love button.  By the time the scene is over you feel dirty, needing a shower, like you just witnessed a cheap act in a back alley.  Readers want more from their characters.  They expect a man to romance the woman – hence the romance label on the genre.  Readers expect a sensory smorgasbord, an erotic flesh fest that makes them want more, that creates a sense of desire and of being desired.  Sadly, in the last book I read those scenes were lacking. I never finished the book, it was that bad.

How does a good writer portray these scenes without coming across like a porn video or a glance in that dirty alley?

First; the build up. Creating a sense of desire, subtle pleasures building upon each other till the inevitable outcome is the pinnacle of her release.  Secondly, becoming aware of all of the erogenous zones. Guys – pay attention here, it may help you in the future!

Incorporating other aspects into your scenes is as simple as learning from real life.  What gets responses besides the obvious? Here’s a few little items that could easily crank the heat up in your next scene, whether at home or in a book.

Tip #1 – The Ears: Ear nibbling and licking. It sounds gross but for some reason, it  is incredibly hot. Don’t just focus on the lobe. A tongue swipe inside the ear can elicit an instant reaction.  Don’t go heavy on the teeth, ears are very sensitive!  (Braces and piercing jewelry are not a good combination!) If you check the charts for acupuncture you’ll see there are pressure points in the ears for sexuality.

Tip #2 – The Neck: Kissing, licking, little suctioning kisses. Such a quick, easy turn on. Ladies, give him a little suctioning kiss on his Adam’s apple and see if his toes don’t curl!  Men, just under the jaw, right above where the adenoids would be; yeah instant fire.

Tip #3 – Slow Down: Sometimes slow is incredibly sensual. By dedicating time to foreplay, taking time to explore even if you don’t think you need a map will be way more enjoyable.  Especially by teasing and delaying intercourse until she is practically begging for it.  Guaranteed success!

Tip #4 – Talk dirty to Me : OK, be careful here. Don’t go overboard, this isn’t an Al Pacino movie here.  Don’t get super freaky unless you know for certain that she’s into that.  But a little bit of dirty talk can take a roll between the sheets into the ‘mind bending hotness needing a fire extinguisher’ arena. A little bit of nasty can get girls off insanely!  If you do it right.

Tip #5 – Doggie: Change it up. Having your lady on top is great, but a little doggie might get her there faster!

Tip #6 – Rhythm: Yep the rhythm is going to get ya!  It’s not about going at it hard and fast.  A woman’s body fluctuates and that doesn’t always feel good.  Change up the routine, but not too often. If she’s into it  – go with it!  It’s really that simple. And if she’s not – for heaven’s sakes change your move!  the rhythm of the music is however, not going to get her there.  It’s likely to annoy her and end both your fun.

Tip #7 – The Ass Grab:  I”m not really one for public displays, but this is one exception.  Fora guy to squeeze your bum.  this says ” I think you’re sexy.  I want you, and I don’t care who knows it!”  It  feels really hot, and is such a mental stimulus.  boost her ego by grabbing some booty as you leave the restaurant.  Yeah, then she turns and gives that look.  The one that says, “Take me baby, I’m yours!”

Incorporating some of these, if not  all of these into the scene where it was tuning the radio then obtaining target verification would hae gone a long way to advancing the story, making their love scene believable, and it does wonders in your own bedroom. Or the living room floor if you don’t make it that far!  If you liked this article, you may want to check out Steamy Sex Scenes, and Scorching Love Scenes.

Plan for success in everything!  I’m going to try a new thing my friend Tasha suggested, Godiva chocolate liqueur, with some fresh strawberries, my new boots, an a little slink.  Oh yes, I’ll win!

You can do your own research.  In the meantime . . .

Write on my friends, write on!

The First Time

This Virtual Blog Tour is winding down to the final weeks.   I hope you are enjoying my guests, they are an awesome bunch of people!  It’s been a great opportunity to get to know these writers, and learn from them.  My guest today is Nikki Noffsinger.  Last week she hosted me on her blog, so this week I get to return the favor.  I love it when I find like-minded authors, and I think my romance reading fans will appreciate Nikki as well.  So without any further delays, heeeeeeeere’s Nikki!

The First Time


Nikki Noffsinger

            I remember like it was yesterday and several bra cups smaller, my first time. I had waited for this moment it seemed all my life-well my life according to Molly Ringwald movies.  Anyone remember those movies?  How many of us thought our high school experience would be like one of those movies like Fast Times of Ridgemont High, The Breakfast Club, or Pretty in Pink?  We just all set ourselves up for disappointment, didn’t we?  I’m starting to get off topic here.  I can go on and on about the eighties forever if you let me. I guess for the most part, it’s due to the fact it was my childhood thus some of the happiest years of my life. The early nineties weren’t all that great.

Being a girl, it should be no brainer that with all the horror movies I loved to watch that there would be a few “love stories”.  Again, it is a perfectly female thing to do. I had gone over and over in my mind how I expected my first time to be. The stars would align; the cosmos would be in a total state of Eros.  I had dreamt of that crucial moment when sparks would fly and I would soar through the heavens on pure euphoria.

Funny how expectations often don’t go the way they should.

At sixteen, what did you expect dear reader? What were some of your crazy dreams? Did you accomplish any of those? What ones didn’t work out?  Okay you only have to highlight a few; never fear I remember being sixteen.  We all wanted to conquer the world in some way, didn’t we?

My first time though, was not met with flowered garlands or notes played on golden harps by chubby cherubs.  I do not think the cosmos was aligned nor was Jupiter in the seventh house or whatever. What I recall of it was disaster.  It was nothing short of horrific without all the Carrie White drama.  Wow, wouldn’t it have been cool to have been telekinetic in high school? I mean, not the killing people part of it but the possibilities are endless to a sixteen year old. Sorry, my mind is starting to wonder. So that should tell you right there how traumatic this event in my life truly was.

That afternoon, my sister had spent hours, literally hours curling and teasing my hair into perfection. It was winged, banged, and bulletproof.  My eyeliner was perfection with the exception my eyes were still burning like hot coals from my sister and best friend Cheryl trying to do both at the same time and using my eyeballs as testing sites. I never had to worry about full lips because I always had them but I was a reddish strawberry blonde at a time when blondes were considered, “cute”, “sexy”, and “popular”. Brunettes were a close second; probably thanks to starlets like Phoebe Cates and Kelly Le Brock. For some reason, only a few guys actually preferred us reds over those two. However, tonight was not about hair discrimination and the fact that I wasn’t the run of the mill model perfect looking girl; however I was a pretty nice looking size twelve.

My palms were sweaty and I couldn’t stop rehearsing a thousand and one scenarios in my mind. The radio was playing everything from Guns n Roses to Madonna. It was just what I needed; Madonna, the blonde ambition, on a night such as this; one of the more important nights of my sixteen years of life. This night was going to possibly affect the rest of my life!  I remember stepping out onto the asphalt and walking with trepidation. I was nervous. I had the mental image of the virgin in white stretched across a stone altar and then some hooded dude mumbling what sounded like gibberish right before ….well okay, you have to know I was and still am a huuuuge movie buff and I might have been watching too many horror flicks.

As my anticipation grew and there within my line of vision was what I had been waiting for and dreaming about for as long as I could remember. It was like being in the Olympics and finally seeing the finish line tape stretched across the track and knowing that you were right about to win and hear the crowd roar.  My finish line was a boy who I had spoken with over the phone and flirted with for weeks until he finally asked me out.  A lot of girls said he was quite the “babe” (term “babe” was used before it was cool to say “hawtie”). All I know is Boy X had hair clean down to his waist and looked like he came out of a MTV music video…well maybe not that good but he was close. Okay so maybe he wasn’t close but he was only a year older than me so he was in the neighborhood.  Anyhow, all I knew all my friends didn’t have a guy with hair like that and his face was unblemished by puberty and he liked me. Who wouldn’t want to have their first with a rarity such as an unblemished face at puberty and long blondish-brown hair?

We walked around the mall, talking and laughing. We held hands and even looked in a few stores. First was the music store so we could reaffirm we had the same taste in music and then Spencer Gifts, to kind of drop the hint that I was “ready for love”. Okay laugh now but who didn’t sneak a peek in the “naughty” section of a Spencer Gifts at the local mall? Yeah that’s what I thought.

As soon as I ditched my sister and best friend we went outside. I remember the weather was cool but not frigid. It was just coming out of spring. Summer would be starting soon and school would be out. I had gone from, Are you there God, It’s me, Margaret to Cheyenne Splendor. This was the moment I had dreamed about and waited for; well one of them anyhow.  He leaned in, closed his eyes, and our lips met. Our tongues danced and I waited.  I waited past the taste of stale Mountain Dew and the aroma of Stetson mixed with sweat.  Some things a girl can over look. However, I didn’t feel the earth move, hear explosions, or feel my body go limp and wanton. It hadn’t been a bad first real kiss, but it simply hadn’t been what I had expected.

We kissed often during our three-month affair – which to a teenage girl is some serious time. When we broke up, I cried. Oh how I would miss that hair and all those late night chats. Boy X hadn’t been a bad boyfriend until he dumped me for some other mall rat but for as pretty as he looked; his kisses had been underwhelming.  They weren’t like the fevered ones I had seen in movies or read in books. They hadn’t made my insides clench or had even stirred the butterflies. So when I wrote stories about kisses, I wrote what my mind had dreamt up. I mean all those hours of watching all those movies and the books on the subject hadn’t been for a lost cause here.

So tell me, what was your first kiss like? Was it anything like you imagined it would be? If you write any genre of romance do you draw on your own personal experiences or not?

I write love scenes both the way I see them in my head and from experience. I write how I want to be touched and what my character should be feeling.  I write more wanting to convey the connection not just the graphic act.  If someone is describing chocolate to the person who has never tasted it they would use their own feelings to create that taste.  I want to do that very same thing that all starts with a kiss.  All my favorite romance novels have all done that very same thing and for some of those books, I’ve been found fanning myself or heading to a cold shower or two.  In my opinion I think that it is why people are drawn to romance of any genre is because they want to feel and see what it is the author is describing.  For some, perhaps it’s a yearning to just want to feel for a moment the bliss of loving and being loved.  Who knows but it is fun to write and create. It is even more fun to watch someone who has never read anything in my genre and see the shock and blush that comes over their face  and then tell me how they really got the story not just the juicy stuff.

So that is one of my firsts. It wasn’t what I expected and it kind of let me down but here I am uncorrupted by the Dr. Phil assessment writing about thousands of kisses I’ve never had but have seen dozens of times in my mind along with lots of other things.  So tell me, who was your Boy X?  Did it live up to your expectations?  How has it influenced your writing or the books you select?

About the Author

            Nicole Noffsinger or Nikki as she is known is a 37-year-old mother of two children and has always loved writing and creating stories from a young age. She lives with her family in a mid-sized Indiana town. Aside from writing she has an eclectic taste in both music and art, loves to travel, and has a great love of all things that go “bump” in the night.






Rowling, really?

Yesterday was a bust!  I was about halfway into writing my blog when the power went out.  It was off most of the day – oh joy.  They are building a new firehouse just up the road and for the past two weeks, you can count on the power going out for a while.  AFter the one yesterday however, there were many sirens.  Not sure what happened, but then family life and “mom” responsibilities, well it was time for my webinar, and then before you know it, it was ten p.m. and I was tired.

So this morning I’m playing catch up, in addition to the catching up from the weekend,  in addition to a half-dozen other things.

I finished three informative articles about the Civil War, the Underground Railroad, and the Emancipation Proclamation. Writing nonfiction is definitely a different animal than fiction writing.  One of my writing friend’s suggested a site called I Write Like. Ever the curious one, I had to submit my samples to see who I write like.

I don’t know about y’all but I think this is totally weird.  For my informative essays and articles – I ran three of them – it says I write like H.P. Lovecraft.  When I was in college, I read everything that Lovecraft ever wrote. I also read everything Poe wrote, and the same for Stephen King as a couple of classes were about Horror and Science fiction. Of course I read a lot about mythology as well.

For my humor pieces, it said I write like Cory Doctorow.  I had to look who that was up on Wikipedia.  Interesting, if not a bit quirky. Well, I suppose that does make sense now that I think about it.

Ah, but for my passion, my fiction writing it varied depending on the scene, and which WIP I submitted from.  The comparisons I got were Anne Rice; Isaac Asimov, and I find this one to be the most interesting J.K. Rowling.  Now, if you’ve paid any attention to the last few bogs, you’ll understand my observation.  I have never read anything by Rowling although I do respect her as a writer.  I won’t go into the whole Potter thing again, it’s just too tiring.  I will have to say, I am very intrigued by her new release.

I’ve read Anne Rice, and Asimov, but hadn’t read any of Rowling’s work.  I was intrigued as I don’t have a single vampire in my story, no one named Lestat, and no child vampires.  I didn’t see any similarities in fantastic worlds that I’d read by Asimov, or the deep mega-mind introspection I admired in his work.

To me, those three authors are distinctly different.  So of course being the “curious kitten” as my dad always called me, I made a trip to the library and checked me out some books.  There are surprising similarities, and yes, technically you can say I caved in and I am reading Harry Potter.  I’m only a short way into it, but since I started it I feel compelled to complete it.  I’m a little weird that way.

As interesting as this information gathering is however it does nothing to advance my writing.  I can’t blame it on writer’s block because honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever experienced that – not that I want to!  I am contemplating a series of blogs about procrastination and avoidance techniques. 1001 ways to Avoid Writing!  Of course I could probably make it 10,000 ways.  Why is it that I do these things to avoid doing the very thing I want to do?

For further delay I ran across a couple of blog posts that addressed the same issue of distractions.

I’ll let Michael Mayerhofer in “Advice to Writers: Stay Home” conclude:

So, again, here’s my not-so-humble advice: stay home. Don’t call anyone. Don’t text. Don’t update your Facebook status to say what you’re reading, or how many thousands of words you’re going to write today. Just leave your ego in a shoe box, sit down, and read. And write. And if you look down at your first draft and think it’s golden—well, you’re wrong.

Can’t argue with that!  So, I close out my pages, and shut the computer off. this computer that is, the one that has internet access.  I open my laptop and bring up my WIP, Kiss of the Dragon.  It’s almost like a rendezvous in private as I slip away without the distractions of the internet, the phone is on silent, the answering machine is on, and I’m not answering the door.  I need a big sign to post somewhere “The writer is IN!”

It’s good when the muse shows up anxious to play with my pet dragons.  Write on!

Here There Be Dragons

In my former career I was a mapmaker.  No seriously!  My degree is in Cartography which is map making.  I worked for the US Department of Defense in mapping and charting division, then targets division, and just before I retired/resigned I worked in digital productions.  Some of the work was very interesting, and some rather mundane.  Sounds like any job doesn’t it?

Ever look at ancient mariner’s maps?  I love old world maps.  The skill and artistry they used to create their maps and charts were truly masterful,  especially when you consider the tools they used.  In modern times we use sophisticated sources that we can neither confirm nor deny the existence of, and in some cases would blow your mind.  Those high-tech things that you think are fictional in movies?  Mere child’s play. I better quit now, I signed many forms to not divulge secrets.

Moving on . . . those ancient charts had markings in common places that read “Here There be Dragons”.  One common spot was off the coast of China.  Another is in the upper Atlantic area between Great Britain, Greenland, Iceland, Nova Scotia, and New England area of the U.S.  It was unknown.  Maybe they saw whales, or giant squids, or Nessie’s relatives.  Who knows what they actually thought they saw.  The point is it was unknown and uncharted.  Danger, danger Will Robinson!

Isn’t this how most of us approach our unknowns?  Our first reaction is a sharp intake of breath followed by rising pulse and a big red DANGER flashing in our minds?  Why?  Because it’s unknown.  Better the devil we know than the one we don’t.

This big sign hangs over that section of our lives we call unknown:  Here there Be Dragons!  We are afraid to go beyond that border of the familiar and venture into the land of dragons.  We makes lines of demarcation on the borders to warn us not to venture beyond this point.

Enter the Dragonslayer!  (Insert dramatic music here and picture of imperious heroine standing arms akimbo on the deck of my sailing vessel!)   No, I’m not going to slay your dragons for you.  No, I don’t work for hire; unless you pay in Caribbean vacations and chocolate.  No, I’m not slaughtering innocent dragons.  NO dragon was harmed in the writing of this post.  I’m exploring the boundaries of my own limitations, and re-evaluating those areas labeled as new and different.  I’m updating my maps to explore the dangerous land of dragons.

We laugh at Medieval superstitions, but we do the very same thing in our own lives with much smaller matters.  2012 is the year my borders are expanded, and my myths are busted!  Just because I haven’t done it before doesn’t mean I can’t.  Just because I haven’t obtained success in a certain area doesn’t mean I won’t.  Just because my past is boring doesn’t mean my future will be.  Get the picture?

For those of you that prefer your nice, neat, tidy little boxes beware.  I’m in a box smashing mood, and on a rut destroying mission.  It may spill over on you if you get too close! For those brave souls who like adventure, I invite you to come along on the explorations and adventure.  Strangely when the explorations begin, that dragon that cast the ominous shadow turns out to be a tiny lizard with a blue tail.

I know, about now you’re wondering where do I come up with this stuff? To give you a little insight into that dark hallway you can take a look at a friend’s blog that inspired my dragon slaying adventure.  http://wideawakebutdreaming.wordpress.com/2012/02/29/leap-day-grinding/

Sort of a yang to his yin!  Many members of my extended family are rutmakers.  I hate ruts!  I think I’ve mentioned in previous posts that I like to change things frequently.  If you check my post for THAT’S SPICY!, I mention it there.

February was less productive than I would have liked it to be.  I really didn’t make much progress towards my main goals, and this sickness has derailed me even more.  I’ve been plotting my charts for March, and setting milestones to achieve.  While working on that I visited Raymond’s blog, and I was off and running!

Hope there are a few brave souls to join my crew of adventurers as we sail into the unknown, charting new territory.

My course? Second star the right, straight on till morning!

The second star to the right

Shines in the night for you

To tell you that the dreams you plan

Really can come true!

Avast ye mateys, all aboard Starship Mack as we sail the uncharted waters!


Sometimes you just need to spice things up a bit.  It can pertain to your sex life, your wardrobe, your daily routine, and your diet.

I threw the comment out the other day to be met with a grunt.  I was talking about our diet as I was in the process of menu planning. I don’t think it even registered, as a playoff game was on.

Yesterday, the hubs got to experience the spiced up menu.  Instead of the usual boring old sandwiches I felt change was in order. I bought Wasabi spread.  It’s a mayo – strong horseradish spread.  I made him a ham and swiss on whole wheat with the spread.  I was proud of myself for changing things up.  Really, it’s the little things in life that get me excited.

He texted me after lunch and said  “next time warn me!”.  He bit in and couldn’t breathe. Eyes burning and nose burning, he dared not swallow or breathe until he almost passed out.  It was not my intention that he should “endure torture” for his lunch.  He joked that his coworkers  had to revive him between bites. I didn’t put THAT much on the sandwich, but when you’re used to regular mayo, well I suppose it was a shock! It did spice things up!

I like spicy things.  I like jalapeno, hot sauce, chipotle, hot chili, and those little peppers in Chinese food. Bland foods are rarely on the menu.  Even typical bland foods such as chicken and dumplings tend to have pepper in it.  There’s never a dull moment in our kitchen or household!

Here’s a message for you guys out there that tune your wife or girlfriend out: DON’T!  You may miss something important like “I think we need to spice things up a bit!”.

If he’d been paying attention, I may have been questioned about what I had in mind, alluded to intimacywith one single raised brow. That could have led into so many interesting things.  Guess that should have been my first clue, or maybe second to the grunt.  If he’d taken notice that I was planning the menu and grocery list, all of this could have been avoided.

All is well and he didn’t actually choke or die.  Now he’s more cautious about taking big bites, without seeing what he’s eating. I’m making sugar cookies today.  I have a sweet tooth and well, thought maybe it might make up for the harrowing experience I’ve put him through.  I considered adding red pepper  then decided against it.  Not sure he could handle too much spice at one time.

Hesitating at the moment to mention other ways I’ve decided to spice things up.  It’s apparently a shocking thing for a white bread person to live with an ‘anything but white’ person.  I’ve tried to tone it down and find that I get bored.  I like to change it up, keep it fluid.  I hate routine because routine leads to ruts.

On the other hand the hubs hates the fact that I’m running behind him filling in his ruts, so that he has to blaze a fresh path every day.  Come on, it’s not like I moved the door to the bathroom! Hmmmm, maybe I should text him that I added pepperjack cheese to his sandwich today.

Embrace change!  It’s the only thing that is constant in our world.