Ten Years from Now . . .#MFRW


 

Today is the 52-week MFRW blog challenge, Week 32 – Ten Years From Now

So, here’s my top ten wish list for ten years from now.

  1. BE CANCER FREE – I hope that I never have to go through this or any other form of cancer ever again. I have made drastic changes in my diet, my work load, my habits, and my mental state. I hope and pray for that day to receive the status of SURVIVOR. I’ve made it through treatment, but the Status of SURVIVOR doesn’t  come until I’ve been cancer free for three years.
  2. BEST SELLING AUTHOR – I plan to continue to get my books out.  I have enough books in the queue to keep me busy until I’m in my nineties and that isn’t counting any new ideas I get between now and then and you KNOW that new ideas will come. In Ten Years, I plan to have at least twenty books out! BTW, watch here because I have something coming soon.
  3. MOVE TO FLORIDA – My husband will retire in ten years and I am hoping we can move to the sunny Gulf coast for the next five or so years. This is in discussion, or in his mind – we won’t talk about this anymore because he doesn’t have any desire to live on the coast.  We’ll see.
  4. HAVE TRAVELLED  – In ten years, I hope to have traveled to many wonderful locations on this beautiful earth. We plan to take more cruises, in addition to visiting places in the United States that we have never been to like The Grand Canyon, Scotland, Ireland, the Badlands, Mount Rushmore, the Biltmore Mansion, Cape Cod, Washington DC, and anywhere else we decide to go. I’m not sure about those travel trailers, I see people that get in a Winnebago or whatever the latest brand is and take off.  Not sure how I feel about those.  I think I’d prefer to get to the location and stay in a hotel room. However, having said that there is always those news reports about bed bugs . . . that’s enough to creep even the hardiest of souls to avoid hotels.
  5. HAVE AN ACTIVE LIFESTYLE – I can’t tell you how disheartening it is to be so fatigued that just walking out side to get into the car makes me feel. A few years ago, I was active. I could do 60 minutes of cardio at one time. I am out of breath just doing 15 minutes now. This sucks! I will work on improving my physical state so that if I felt inclined, I could run a 5K. Not saying I want to,  but I would be able to. If I attempted that now I am afraid I would collapse of a heart attack. If we go to Mexico, I want to be able to climb the steps of Tikal. I want to be able to hike up Ben Nevis. I want to be able to walk the beach – whatever beach and not worry that my husband would have to drag me back the way we came because I gave out. I might even start getting out on my bike! Can you imagine a 60-year-old me in biker shorts, gray hair, crash helmet, barreling towards you,  head down, pedaling like my butt’s on fire???  It’s an exhilarating thrill that I haven’t felt in a while.  I want to feel that again.  I want to feel healthy again.
  6. SPOIL GRANDKIDS –  Right now our daughters are both single. There isn’t a grandkid in sight for the near future. But in ten years, I hope that will change. I hope they both find mates that love them and treat them like the gems they are and of course then they make beautiful grandbabies for me to spoil. Maybe by then, I’ll forget the Millenial attitude. Probably not, but there’s a chance.
  7. CELEBRATE OUR 40TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY –  although technically, in ten years from now it will be 42 years of marriage so I guess this one will have to have already been checked off. OK, so then we celebrate our 40th with a Cruise to the Western Carribean and I have lots of pictures to share. That will work!
  8. SOLD 1 MILLION BOOKS – Everyone has to have a goal right? I mean if you shoot for the stars and clear the trees then you’ve made progress.
  9. HAVE A CLEAN TIDY HOME – OK, I’m not Suzy Homemaker. I’d never pass the white glove test but I do like things neat and orderly.  We won’t talk about the clutter – moving on. Let me just say this –  2 adult children still living at home! I may have to seek professional counseling soon. My OCD twitch is getting worse every day.
  10. DISCOVER THAT THING CALLED SPARE TIME – Alright, I shared last week that I had to totally change my schedule. It’s supposed to be a much more relaxed pace, not pushing myself constantly. A lifetime of Type A personality is difficult to change. I’m working on it,  but I still haven’t managed to get everything – even the shortened to-do list – accomplished within my 24 hour day. Where do you find this “spare time”? Is there some secret store somewhere that you purchase it? Is it some contract you sign in blood with a devil? ‘Cause this chick ain’t afraid of no crossroads demon. Have you discovered how to clone yourself? PLEASE, somebody, let me in on the secret! Taking time to relax and unwind in theory sounds like a good plan for mental health. IN theory. IN reality, it’s a fast track to guilt if I chill on the patio knowing that: a) my book is not finished, b) all of the other books aren’t’ finished c) there is more housework to be done d) I should really tackle those bills e) laundry, the neverending story, f) . . . you get the idea, right?  It’s not as easy as it sounds.

So there you have it, ten goals that I will be working towards in the next ten years. I’m trying to chill. I”m trying to get things accomplished. For some reason, they seem like polar opposites to me. Good thing I’m not dead yet,  ’cause I’m still a work in progress.

Thanks for stopping by. Find what other authors in this blog hop have to say their dreams are for ten years from now here:

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Here are some other posts in this series from yours truly:

  1. Raindrops on Roses
  2. They’ll Survive – I Guess
  3. Binge Watching #MFRWauthor
  4. Thank God for Grace in Editing!
  5. #MFRW Best Friends
  6. Crafty Author #MFRWauthor
  7. Musical Mayhem #MFRWauthor
  8. A Rose by Any Other Name . . . #MFRWauthor
  9. I’ll take What is Purple Prose for 50 Alex #MFRWauthor
  10. Ellie’s Guilty Pleasures #MFRWauthor
  11. How Do You Do That? #MFRW

There are more but I don’t have the links done yet. I will eventually when I get to it.

Write on my friends, write on!

 

A Progress Report of Sorts


My life has been derailed by a flu bug. I didn’t manage to get the blog hop post up on Friday – I barely managed to remain conscious for part of the day and the following couple of days. There is a long list of things I didn’t get done over the last few days. SIGH. Moving on, some tasks will have to be made up while others will have to be let go, deleted, or put back into rotation at a later date.

Up until now, I’ve been opposed to flu shots thinking that this was akin to the perpetual overly prescribed use of antibiotics that have aided in the creation of super bugs. Well, after this bout of influenza,  I am willing to succumb to the poke.

Anyway, enough about that.  A brief update on the list of things to do for the month:

Editing –  finished one book which was amazing! I am so excited for the release on this one. Have made progress on another editing job,  about three-fourths of the way completed, but waiting on payment. Also, I’ve picked up a couple more editing jobs. HA-  what’s a few more irons in the fire, right?

Writing – alas,  this was put on the back burner while tackling the next item on the list. It figures, right? When I get a plan in place of what I want to do, the direction I want to go in, then life throws a curve ball. It sometimes seems that the universe conspires against me. It’s time for the universe to start working with me, however. I have made up my mind that this is going to be my first priority, even over the editing.  For one, I think it will do me good to set the editing voice on the back burner,  she’s causing me to second guess practically every word I write down.  There are thousands of words that are going through my mind,  that sound like gold inside my head.

Online Course Requirements for the new job – this has been priority one for me. I haven’t done real well at juggling, in fact, I set everything else aside so that I could focus on this. Until the flu had its way with me.  I sat down Thursday morning to go through the second module for the longest class, only to end in failing the quiz. *Hangs head in shame*  The saying goes, most of the things that we worry about never happen. It’s true.

I spent a couple of hours spiraling into an all-out panic attack. I could already tell the fever was getting worse. The achiness wracked my entire body. My head was pounding. You think maybe, just maybe, that might have played a part in my less than stellar academic performance? Seems rational now but at the time I didn’t see it. When I couldn’t get back into the course, I panicked.  As my symptoms increased, my anxiety was through the roof.

After a while though, I had to stop. I’ll omit the graphic details, but  I didn’t willingly stop. Mr. Influenza didn’t exactly ask me if I wanted to spend the majority of my time in the bathroom. I had all of  the what if I don’t pass/ I’ll lose the job/but I feel like crap/ they don’t care/ license requirements don’t make exceptions for special snowflakes/ life isn’t fair/ oh my god I feel horrible/suck it up and  try again/I’m locked out/ now what do we do?/ contact them NOW/ it’s in their hands/ get some rest . . . this is when it got crazy.  I gave up on the course and sat down on the sofa. Immediately I had dozed off fitfully. I had chills so bad, the queen sized comforter wasn’t enough. My temperature was blazing hot, my heart was pounding in my chest – I knew I needed some sleep. So, when I moved to my bed, my nasal congestion immediately got worse and I literally couldn’t breathe. Yeah, add that to the mix! Because, you know things aren’t bad enough yet.  I needed sleep. I couldn’t sleep. Now I was afraid to go to sleep, what if I didn’t wake up? I mean, breathing is kind of a necessity.

I bounded out of bed like I had springs in my butt. The chills were gone and the fever was blazing. I considered going outside onto my front porch –  even in my state of undress. Who cares if anyone saw me in my undies, I needed fresh air STAT!  Now, doesn’t it just figure that we had record high temps in February? Going outside didn’t really help much. It felt just as stifling out there as it did inside. I ended up getting a cold washcloth and wiping my face, neck arms, stomach, legs, then repeating.  I was in this  fugue state of panic/fear/exhaustion.  I had taken some Nyquil and a couple of tylenol for the fever, but they had yet to kick in.

Misty suggested that I go through this technique to bring me down from the anxiety, which worked after several repetitions enough for me to relax so that I could at least breathe. It doesn’t help that my sister told me that people die from the flu! Not what I needed to hear just then.

Anyway, once the fever had dropped enough that I didn’t feel as if my brain was boiling, and the meds had kicked in enough that I could at least breathe, I decided that I would give my bed another go. Exhaustion can do strange things to you. Rest is the best thing you can do for yourself when you’re sick. I’m a terrible patient. There are things that need to be done, chores that don’t get done unless I do them.

Sometimes it takes an emergency to put things into perspective that if it doesn’t get done without me, maybe it isn’t really that vitally important. Has anyone ever died from dirty dishes left undone? Laundry accumulating? NO! It was waiting for me when I started feeling better. I have a lot of mixed emotions about that,  but in the end, I take care of it.

By Saturday morning I was feeling a little better. However, the hubs now had it. While he slept, I wrapped myself in a cocoon of blanketed warmth, got myself a new box of tissues, and put the kettle on for a constant refilling of hot tea. I made those classes my bitch! Owned those suckers with a final score of 92 out of 100. Hey, not bad considering I was under the weather. That material is dry, dull, boring, legaleze jargon that could put anyone into a comatose state.

Anyway, after completing the course I moved to the sofa where I crashed hard for  the remainder of the day. That’s my big accomplishment –  I have aced the courses ahead of schedule even while having the flu!  TADA!

*Throws confetti* This calls for a celebration!  Since I missed celebrating publishing my 500th post – which was One Phone Call,  completing my MLO classes is certainly means for celebrating.

Anyway, now that I’m moving back towards a healthy state, it’s time to tackle those undone things.

Write on my friends, write on! I promise less ranting next time!

Ellie

 

 

New Day


It’s a brand new day! It’s a new month – yay! This is the point when we get a do-over for good intentions. For instance with the blogging. Even the best-laid plans sometimes fail.

Nothing can be done for the days lost in January, it’s now a fresh month. In the past, I have taken all of my unfinished plans from the previous month and started there before tackling the items I had designated for the current month. That is a fast track to being overwhelmed and giving up before you even begin. Trust me, I’ve done it numerous times.

For instance, with my bullet journal, I had an entry on January 22, then nothing. The next day I felt nearly human again after several days of illness is January 30. Last year, I would have felt guilty. I would have made entries for each day in between, trying to squeeze something from the brain to fill in for those days, but this time I didn’t. NOPE. I simply wrote ‘And then . . . ‘ in large bold letters, with a brief journal entry about what was going on, namely, I felt miserable until my daughter took me to urgent care.

Then I made an entry for Monday with the header Moving Forward. That, my friends, in a nutshell, is my entire philosophy for the year.

Moving Forward

I have five large projects on my plate for this month:

  1. An editing job that has a firm deadline. ( I love editing for others. It gives me a chance to read their work, help with something that I am good at and also stimulates my creative brain at the same time. I am always energized to write on my own work after I do some editing for someone else and I have been anxious to  work on this one!)
  2. Rewrites on Roxy Sings the Blues, now that I have a  workable plot. (This is where my 30 index cards will be put to use!)
  3. Passing the 20-hour course for regaining my MLO license. This one has to be completed by February 28th. This is not an arbitrary deadline that I picked,  my job is contingent upon passing this course and getting licensed. I’ve done it before, I can do it again! (This is a tough class. Dry material, legal schtuff, technical mortgage  blah blah blah,  a whole lot of laws and acts and this will require inordinate amounts of caffeine in order to get through the volumes of materials I must relearn. Yes, I am regretting letting my license lapse this past year. Infuriatingly regretting it, to the point of mentally beating myself up over this decision.)
  4. Make progress in my fitness and weight loss plan. (My goal for January was to lose 8 pounds, I only lost 3. I did, however, get my behind out to the track and started back walking at least.  We’ve had mostly mild winter days. I have used a workout video that a friend referred me to during days that are cold, wet,  or the roads are bad. I’m ready to add another lap this week, and  by the end of the month I plan to double the length of that walk.)
  5. Decluttering and updating our house so we can move closer to my husband’s  work. (He has a very long commute now. )

So, of course, this is the perfect time to add something else to the mix, right? Of course, it is!

An author friend has been encouraging me to join this blog hop thing, 52-week thing. I’m already behind the curve, but I can make those up, no problemo! You’ll see the first installment for this on Friday. What’s one more thing, right?

Following the categories that I have already used for blogging,  I will on occasion – I’m not even going to say I will post every Monday because you know as well as I do that I may or may not manage every Monday. Seriously, take a look at my list above! BUT, I guarantee you that at some point throughout this month, I will give updates.

I had already agreed to share tidbits of the WIP, which will cover item number two. I will share a couple of things throughout the month on editing. This is something that I’ve thought about many times,  making editorial posts to address common mistakes that we all make and are things that you can fix yourself.

BUT, I was wondering does anyone even care about my weight loss and fitness journey? Does anyone really care about my home improvements? Renovations? Updates?

IDK –  I had thought about sharing that month’s projects with pictures of before and after, but does anyone really care?  Honestly, I am not doing major renovations like tearing out walls or adding on to the existing floorplan. We are on a tight budget here and most of these changes are simply going to update and make our house saleable.

I’m still undecided on those two points, but if you have an opinion feel free to comment or message me.

I’m heading to my editor’s desk to dive back into this book.

Write on my friends, write on!

 

Inquisitve Minds


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 Writer’s are innately curious, you do understand that, right?  It’s an insatiable drive that urges us onward constantly asking why. If your child is asking you questions like “What did little red riding hood have in her basket? Did she forget her glasses that she couldn’t see that it was a wolf instead of Grandma?  How did Peter fit his wife in the pumpkin shell? Was she a fairy?”

My mother quit reading me fairy tales quite early, relegating that task to my sisters. I was a wiz at reciting my nursery rhymes just like I was taught.

Little Boy Blue,
Come blow your horn,
The sheep’s in the meadow,
The cow’s in the corn;
But where is the boy
Who looks after the sheep?
He’s under a haystack,
with little bo peep! 

Wait, that isn’t how you learned it?  Yeah, my sister’s had a wicked sense of humor. When I started asking questions of why, my mother deferred me to my siblings who are much older than me. They were quite creative in their answers and the more inquisitive I was in a line of questioning, the more abstract the answer would become until it satisfied my mind. At times I was slow to catch on because as a child I was naive and trusting.

I learned rather quickly that the things I had been taught, the answers I was given were rarely the correct ones. I also learned cynicism and sarcasm at an early age as well.

Why is the sky blue? Because God ran out of green after painting all the trees.

Why don’t apples grow in the garden like cucumbers? Because if they did, the rabbits would get fat. 

Why do fish eat worms? Because they like their insides tickled. 

Seriously, who does this to a child??  The thing is, most of the population accepts things on blind faith. Creatives, on the other hand, question everything. My mother had little tolerance for questions of any sort. The most common answer was ‘because I said so that’s why’.

In this vein, I made a point to answer my kid’s question to the best of my ability.

So what does this have to do with anything? It has everything to do with writing. If the person can’t ask questions,  they will never come up with original story ideas. You have to know facts before you can deviate from them. For instance,  gravity makes everything fall down towards the earth. So, if some alternate force were to be in effect, then objects would either float in the air or accelerate towards the sky.

From asking why is how abstract thinkers get strange, unique ideas for science fiction and fantasy. Romance writers have a different angle in their creativity. We have to come up with relational issues, not alternate laws of physics. Any writer takes the opportunity to ask what if, creating chaos for their characters.

Which leads me to my current WIP, Roxy Sings the Blues. Originally posted on Storytime Trysts as Oral Dilemma, I’ve been revising that hot mess to be something a little more substantial than serial posts to fill a time slot. I’m fairly pleased with some of the scenes as I hope you will be also.

Last year, I participated in a snippet share on Sundays with some blogger friends. I decided that on Tuesday I would share teasers from the WIP as those Sunday posts seemed to be a big hit but I am often not online on weekends. Here’s a little teaser for your pleasure:

“You’re up next Ms. Winters. Can I get you anything while you wait? A water with lemon? Hot tea?” David motioned a stagehand over towards us then instructed him to bring a chair for me while I waited. “Have a seat while Cameron finishes his set.”

I gladly took the offered seat, my legs were like jello in the platform heels. I was about to achieve a long time dream and to top it off, Devon was by my side. If I died today, I would die a happy woman.

What does all of that have to do with what I’m about to do now?

Everything! It’s not the string of bus stops along the route, it’s the entire journey. Allow me to share from the point where it really started.

I know, it’s just a teaser. Let me know what you think. Are you curious to read more? Would you like longer teasers? stick with short? Talk to me!

I’ve got a  schedule for release in my planner, a date that I am shooting for. I am really trying to focus on one project to completion this year. Hopefully, it won’t be too painful of a transition for me to actually be productive.

Write on my friends, write on!

Ellie

 

New Year, New Plan


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Just when you thought I had fallen off the face of the earth . . .

Between colds, flu, and a bout of food poisoning December took it’s toll on me. I”d like to say it was reflected on the scale,  but I can’t. That would have been a desirable side effect so we can’t have that, right? That’s how it seems at times.

I fully intend to get back on track with my blog, with writing, with my fitness goals . . . which brings us to that time  – the New Year – when I make my new list of goals.

Three things that you should know about me if you haven’t already gleaned this info:

1. I’m an overachiever. I know it and yet I find myself compelled to continue in my overachieving way. Doesn’t mean I always accomplish them, in fact, it’s often to the contrary.

2. If I don’t plan, I will drift aimlessly along never accomplishing anything, then beat myself up mentally over my lack of focus.

3. I’m seriously ADD and find it difficult to focus on much of anything for very long, hence why I change my themes regularly, digress in the middle of a five hundred word post, and am easily distracted by the next shiny.

So I have multiple categories,  varied topics, and the most consistent stream of conscious seems to be random madness. I didn’t do so well on this past year’s  goals. 2016 was not my best year in any stretch of the imagination. On to the new year, right? It isn’t going to do much good to keep pondering my failures. Learn from them and move on, which brings us to the present. A new shiny!

2017 Goals for Ellie:

  1. Publish 4 books. I’m not restricted by any small publishing house’s  whims or schedules. I have multiple files sitting in my folder with finished projects that are ready for an editor. Valkyrie’s Curse was finished  – so long ago I don’t even remember when. I went back over it in April of last year, making revisions and realized that I hadn’t really wrapped the story, which led to expanding it into a series. Revisions put it’s completion in July, and I was supposed to hand it off to Eclectic Bard at Penned Con before my contract ended.  I am really going to try to focus on one project at a time until completion so the order of release will be: 1)Roxy Sings the Blues, 2) Valkyrie’s Curse: The Awakening, 3) Eerie Isles Chronicles book 1, 4)The Piano.
  2. Blog 12 Times per Month. Goal 1 transitions into Goal 2 because after discussion with other authors, one of the  ‘hits’ of my categories was shared snippets of current writing. ( To include revisions as well.) I’m planning to be back on a regular blogging schedule and do NOT plan to be sick for five weeks straight ever again if I can help it.  But that’s just one topic, right? I mean there are so many other things –  bujo, food, fitness, current events,  and a myriad of things that may pop into my head from time to time. (Trust me, it’s better if you read them one at a time instead of the rapid-fire barrage that  exists inside my cranium.)
  3. Read 30 books. Down from my usual 50 but I still have to read. Consider it research and a job requirement.
  4. Lose 50 pounds. I hate where I am. I never wanted to be here, and yet here I am. This goal is the top priority and if I accomplish nothing else this year,  this one is a MUST. Fifty pounds doesn’t even get me to my goal weight,  but that’s  nearly a pound a week. If I lose more great, but I am currently not at any semblance of a healthy weight.
  5. Build my author’s website and integrate my blog there.
  6. Get our house ready to sell and move. This is a major undertaking as we’ve lived in the same house for 23 years and my husband is a packrat. I tend to procrastinate and avoid dealing with the stuff. We are surrounded by stuff and I can’t take it anymore. The austere living is becoming more and more appealing.
  7. Get my office set up. We’ve been over this so many times. Last time I shared pictures of the area that I worked my butt off ( unfortunately not literally) clearing out only to have that area filled with more stuff. It was disheartening. I haven’t made a lot of headway since then. It’s like getting your feet cut out from under you. Not just having the rug pulled,  but someone hacking your feet off and then having to continue. How can I make myself focus on a writing career as a business when I have to keep moving my laptop off of the table every single night? I need certain writing tools and stuff when I am writing. I need my reference materials, resources, notes, planner, and my to-do list. These end up stacked on the shelf that tops the short wall of our stairwell. For a visual, it’s a stack of clutter in the kitchen of an open floorplan home. This sets off my OCD-ness every day.

Seven goals for 2017. Streamlined tremendously from my 50 a couple of years ago. Should be simple enough to accomplish right? Simple but not easy.

It’s going to take a concerted effort in order to accomplish each one. It will require effort, a great deal of effort. I could use some encouraging along the way. I’ll make you a deal – I’ll cheer you on with your goals if you help me with mine. Deal? So what are your goals? What do you hope to accomplish in 2017?

Write on my friends, write on!

Ellie

 

 

Mile Marker Ahead


I must have started and stopped writing a post at least a dozen times. Based on my draft file, that number is more like fifteen. Why the false starts?

I have a milestone rapidly approaching – my 500th post! This isn’t that post,  but when I saw that little bit of information, my brain went into overdrive thinking about what can I do for a special post? What can I blog about that anyone would care to read? If I can post 500 posts, then why can’t I get my crap together to  finish revising my books?

Then I went and reviewed past posts, to see which ones were the most read.

Quotidiandose: 30 Days of Sass  started from my top posts, then were expanded.

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This compilation is in part a celebration of that 500th post,  but I wanted to do something on here, with you, my readers to celebrate.

Well, it’s difficult to have virtual cake. It’s difficult to share virtual cocktails.

I will still be thinking about it, but for now . . .  I thought I’d take the opportunity to  let  everyone know of a shake up.

Beginning at the first of the year, my plan is to get back on track with my blogging. I know, I know,  I’ve said that before.  I stick to it for a while then  when life seems to pull the rug out from under me it takes a while to regroup.

I’m going to go back to a format – of sorts – for my blog. My Monday mojo posts will still go up because I need a Monday pep talk and everyone seems to  enjoy them. I’m undecided on the other days of the week at this point, so I’m not  going to share with you the new revised schedule, because It’s a very rough draft. When I get things  narrowed down a bit,  then I’ll share. In the meantime,  I can use you guys’ input. What do you want to see? Which posts have you enjoyed? What do you want more of?

Here are a few things I’ve shared in the past:

  • recipes
  • photography ( not a professional by any means but fun)
  • bullet journal
  • writerly stuff
  • writing snippets
  • diet, exercise, fitness ( or my version of it anyway)
  • guest posts
  • guest interviews
  •  fun posts
  •  family
  •  flash fiction
  •  random madness and all that life brings with it
  • Penned Con
  • live interviews

If you like any of these in particular, please leave a comment. Want more recipes? Leave me a comment! Trust me, I have  loads of recipes,  between my own concoctions and the myriad of cookbooks I have, I could write a recipe every day for the next five years. But then again I’d be bored and quit so if that is something you like,  I can designate a certain day of the week to share recipes, photos, and even fails.

I happened to think  yesterday,  that I haven’t shared a snippet in a while. I’ve been so busy with doing NaNoWriMo – I won by the way with a grand total of 101,330 words in the first draft of Murder by Moonlight.

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In the middle of that, I was doing revisions to Red Wine & Roses for it to be rereleased. Even though I didn’t blog much, I was busy busy busy writing my little fingers away.  At least my fingers got a good workout during November!

My writing focus is  on revisions to Roxy Sings the Blues. I have my editor lined up, fielding some ideas for cover art, and  fine tuning so that I can send it off to my beta readers very soon.

Anyone care for a snippet of that?  Maybe a few teasers  over the next few weeks as I move closer to the finished product?

My current daily todo lists are crazy busy, and if I don’t write it down I forget. My bujo goes everywhere with me.  It’s my downloadable brain in print.  I am wondering about next year’s  journal though,  I wonder if Leuchterm makes a thicker one. Hmm, I may need to investigate.

Let me know what you like about the blog and let’s see if  I can’t make next year better than ever.

Write on my friends, write on!

Ellie

 

 

Issues of Life


The past few days have been an emotional rollercoaster for me. It’s times like this that I question Cassidy’s sanity. I mean, who would choose this?

We had such a good day on Saturday, I suppose it was inevitable that the wheels should fall off on Sunday.  While tackling one project, I was being pulled by someone else’s project, continually asked questions until I reached a point where I had to stop what I was working on.

First off, this project was one that I had procrastinated on to the point that I couldn’t put it off any longer.  I needed to get it done. So I was already aggravated.

The project that my husband was asking questions about, was valid for him to ask me questions as it was pertaining to our finances. Then everything degenerated down from there. *hangs head*

How many of us know, I mean really know that you can’t compartment your life like a waffle into little squares? If you can manage that then message me  and share how you do it.

In my world, things are all interconnected like a woven cloth. The white strand touches twenty others. Or you can look at it like the plate of spaghetti. Well, I got my spaghetti all over his waffles.

If we are being  honest,  it’s more like spaghetti. How we view our finances are affected by a) our upbringing, b) past problems c) expectations d) fears e)our relationship with the financial partner. All of those factors come into play at some point and are often expressed through what we communicate.

I’m not going to  tell you all about our finances,  that’s not what this is about. We have some differences between us about them that we will work out. My problem is the underlying problems that come out in  moments like this.

I have been so guilty of this in the past,  that I am acutely aware  of carefully choosing my words and not blasting my first thoughts without a filter. The filter needs to be applied to similar problems in the past, past words that were spoken, past situations that you’ve been through,   past fights over the subject. . . it all plays a part to the emotions that come up with the current topic.

In a microsecond, our brain goes to our retrieval file and pulls up the entire folder on how we feel about finance anything. Last time we got into a fight – shields up. We’ve been married for a few years,  there has been more than one fight over finances. In most marriages, there is one that spends and one that saves. I’m the spender and I know you aren’t surprised.

My issue with this whole thing is not the finances.  It’s not about how much I spent because I know that I spent too much. It’s  the comments that cut me to the core that are outside of the topic that are affecting the statements made.

The current plan isn’t working, so I need to rethink, reevaluate, and make a new plan. How ironic that  I got a notification this morning that  two readers liked my post, Unceasing. Wow, thank you for that reminder. I needed to hear that.  I needed to be reminded that it’s not the negative words of someone else. It’s not getting validation from anyone else. The reason I write, and that I will NOT stop pursuing my dream even if it is at a snail’s pace, is because it is part of who I am.

I had some amazing  friends encourage me in this  matter, some were kind loving words, others were  straight and to the point, and yet others were tactlessly pointed out,  but valid all the same.

On one hand, it is devastating to hear that  a loved one doesn’t believe in your vision.  That’s ok. It’s not his vision after all but mine.  It’s not his place to validate me or give me approval. I need to do this for myself. On the other hand, it’s good to know where they stand so that I can adjust my course, my expectations accordingly.

Giving up on my dream isn’t going to make him think any differently but it will certainly make me think differently.  It would be quitting on myself and I can’t do that.

I’m not angry anymore. I’m not hurt either. I know that I am taking the road less traveled.  This is my path and it needs to coincide with our path as much as his career path does also. Neither of us is wrong, just different.

Sometimes we embrace the differences, other times we accept them.

Soon I will have important news to share and to think, I almost  quit just before the finish line – tsk tsk.

It’s all good! Write on my friends, write on!

Ellie

 

 

Time to Destress


The  local school district started back on their school year  on Monday which also coincides with my daughter returning for her college semester. I thought this was a good time to implement changes in my own schedule.

I had every intention of making a post on Monday, and on Tuesday, and on Wednesday . . .  you get the idea. Wow, cray cray comes out to play when you decide to make improvements. Has anyone ever experience this?  It’s like, as long as you exist in the current chaos karma doesn’t notice you.  Let me stop right there for a moment.

I know in the Christian community it is frowned upon to refer to karma however, for all intents, karma is a non-Christian way of explaining a very Christian phenomenon. The Bible clearly states that ‘whatsoever you sow, that also shall ye reap’. In other words – what goes around comes around. In still other words – karma is a bitch! Do good – get good. Do bad – get bad.  It’s a simple concept that is universal, not exclusive to the Christian community. So, if you are going to get all bent out of shape for using the term, I don’t know what to tell you.

Where were we? Oh yes – KARMA. The existing chaos. Making improvements . . .  well, trying to at least. As soon as you disrupt the status quo, it apparently wakes up Karma and her evil sister Fate, and they in turn wake up the third sister Destiny. In this particular instance, Destiny apparently said ‘Oh good for her. That will bring her closer to realizing her dreams’ and rolled over and went back to sleep. Karma was pissed about her reaction in addition to your changes and persuades Fate to her side by bribing her with caffeine.

Never the less,  I proceed with my  intended changes. These are changes to improve, to correct, to streamline and become more efficient with my time.  Once upon a time, I had a schedule that worked. I was doing great then something changed and I let my schedule lapse. I knew that the 15th of August was when my daughter returned to college. I knew that would be a good time  to put myself back on a schedule. Keep in mind,  I don’t do well with a rigid structured schedule.  It has to have some flexibility built in.  However, I don’t do well with open-ended freedom either. It’s all about balance.

I  was rather slack over the summer which resulted in  three weeks of a frantic scramble to make up for time that I had wasted. Since Monday, all hell has broken loose in our household. Some of you might think to throw up your hands in defeat and say why bother. Not me. Nope, this little grey duck thinks –  I must be on the right path if I am getting this much resistance. (life experience has proven this to be the case.)

Having said that, let’s do a quick review to catch up, then I’m going to share the coolness that I found online. Ready?  Buckle up, hands and feet inside the cart while it is in motion.

  • Monday – new schedule in place, honored my time breaks, was quite efficient and productive. Focused efforts on beta read for a fellow author and progress made on my super secret project. (Come on, aren’t you just a tiny bit curious?)
  • Tuesday – errands, driving,  resale business, – I fell behind and didn’t get everything accomplished which  dictates that my afternoon today is going to be completing the tasks left unfinished from Tuesday.
  • Wednesday –  finish the beta read, 3600 words towards next project, review of potential covers and logo, arrangements for Penned Con, then  the internet went kaput. sayonara! Wait – no!  NOOOOOOOO! I wasn’t done putting my information in. I didn’t . . . tech is scheduled to show up on Thursday.
  • Thursday – working offline, domestic goddess duties, resale  tasks to complete, wait on tech guy, still no internet. 5600 words towards next project  – I’m on a roll!
  • Friday –    yay! We have internet again! Make up for all the work lost earlier in the week, finish domestic duties, resale business prep for the weekend. (there is always more foot traffic on the weekend)

In all of that,  I have specific things but not a rigid schedule.  As the blog posts were not at the top of the list,  they fell off the bottom and were moved to the next day.  This is just one aspect of the bullet journal that is both frustrating and  helpful. There is no sense beating ourselves up over it, just move it to the next day and it becomes the top priority. I will be perfectly honest, if I didn’t have my bullet journal I would be lost and have given up ten times over.

So, I am going to share what I thought was a creative idea in my planner.  Bear in mind, I am not an artist.

20160815_135543 The only purpose of this page is for self-motivation, a sort of self-talk when I feel down and feel like I am a failure, which is often.  I’m thinking of adding a pop of color over the eyelashes like eye shadow, but I haven’t decided quite how to do that. Feel free to copy it make your own, make something similar, laugh at my artistic attempts, whatever ripples your nipple!

Sometimes we need to take a deep breath, slow down, and realize that there is more to life than (fill in the blank). It’s easy to get caught up in the hectic pace that we set for ourselves and feel as if we are failing at every turn. This is why I love my bullet journal, it helps me maintain some semblance of sanity.

NOW –  for the cool stuff I found online. How many of you are familiar with the Myers-Briggs personality profiles?

Go HERE to find out what yours is.

That’s not the cool part.  By understanding your personality, then you can understand why you do things a certain way and what works for you. My personality type is ENFP – a campaigner. Read the description, you’ll see that it fits. This is the cool part –  a friend shared a link with me about how the personality types reacts to stress. Mine was dead on!

What stresses out an ENFP:
– Environments where rules are rigidly enforced
– Focusing on repetitive, detailed tasks
– Having to focus too much on sensory details
– Having to focus too much on the past or present
– Not being able to use their intuition
– Constraints on brainstorming or envisioning
– A lack of outside stimulation
– Being micromanaged
– Having creativity stifled
– Having to complete projects before they’re ready
– Criticism
– Lack of appreciation
– Having their values violated
– Overextending themselves for others

ENFPs tend to overextend themselves, and procrastinate, which is often a source of stress as it complicates their lives. (It’s like they know me!)When they become stressed, their naturally charming natures become more irritable and over-sensitive. (I can neither confirm or deny that this is true.) When stressed, ENFPs feel alienated and engage in deceptions to obscure what is occurring within themselves. They will feel that they are losing control over their own independent identities and feel conflicted by intruding circumstances. During continued stress, they may fall into the grip of their inferior function, introverted sensing. When this happens, they become obsessive and depressed. They will become hyper-aware of minor bodily sensations or abnormalities and interpret them as a sign of a serious illness. They may have a hard time communicating clearly, and feel numb and frozen inside. Their thinking may become cloudy and convoluted. They will feel that there are no possibilities or ways out. (This is why I am obsessed with the self motivational talks which you read here.) They may feel overwhelmed, out of control, unable to sort out priorities, and thus become inflexible. Some become obsessive about record keeping, cleaning, or other household tasks. (I should be so lucky that I obsess over something useful like cleaning!)

How to help an ENFP with stress:
– Give them space and time alone to sort out their feelings.
– Remind them that they are able and competent.
– Give them permission to “escape”
– Don’t give them advice. It won’t help right now.
– Don’t ask for details.
– Don’t try to “fix” the problem.
– Meditation often helps ENFPs
– Listen to them.
– Encourage them to exercise
– Encourage them to get enough sleep
– Encourage them to get a massage
– Be warm and kind in the way you speak to them
– After they’ve calmed down a little, ask them if they want help evaluating the situation.

I agree with all of those things except the massage.  Many people are all about getting a massage, not me.  I don’t like uninvited touching.  It kind of freaks me out to have some stranger touching me. Yes, I know I have issues. My issues have issues. Those issues have grand baby issues. Let it go. I have.

If you want to find out what it says about you, and possible ways to de-stress yourself and maybe how you can avoid your big stressors, go to psychologyjunkie and see what it has to say about your own personality!

You gotta admit, this is kind of cool!

I hope next week is better and things begin to flow like a gentle stream. No Karma, I did NOT say like a stream overburdened with rains from a thousand storms that  threatens to destroy everything in its wake.

I hope your week goes well for you! Are you making changes for the better? Trying to be more efficient? Leave a comment and share the changes that you are making.

Write on my friends, write on!

 

What Went Wrong?


This is a recap post for the month of July. What Went Wrong? My goal for the year has been to blog at least 15 times per month. Ideally, it would be daily given the name, but  time has not allowed that. (Refer to my numerous posts on Time management, or rather my struggle with it.)

At the beginning of the month, I always assess the previous month to determine what went well, what went poorly, what fell through the cracks, and  examine the new irons in the fire. I know, I said there wouldn’t be any new irons in the fire. But they are so shiny and new and . . . . thus my perpetual battle.

I have to scratch my head about July. It seems that I got very little done during this month. In that vein, I began to investigate and evaluate. My planner is not only my to-do list,  it’s a record of what happened. what I spent my time on, and when I’m serious about my  diet, a record of my eating so that I can see where I went wrong. So I started there.

Four birthdays and our anniversary. One of those birthdays was my husbands – happy birthday honey! We went out for our anniversary, it was a nice dinner. Came home too stuffed to enjoy  the dessert that I made.

We attended four auctions  for our resale business. I’m anxious for the weather to bet a little cooler so that I can stand to work in the garage creating new and renewed  items.

I have been without a car from July 6th through August 1st. THAT was a challenge! I don’t live in an area that has public transportation so a car is basically my lifeline. I live 7 miles outside of town. Yes, I’d be a lot more fit If I walked to town, but  it would take up my entire day.

I completed the manual that I had been tasked to do. (I discussed this in the post I Did It!) I finished an editing job. I worked on my own writing for Camp Nano, and won! I started doing this Level 10 Life thing that I read about.  I really like the concept of this. Google Level 10 Life and  check out Boho Berry’s blog.

I have made goals for each category, some I’ve done well with while others, not so much. The basic idea of this is to get my life in order. For those of you who have it all together great. I don’t. I thought that this might be a way to make small incremental improvements in these life  categories.

On the positive, I’ve accomplished goals in these categories: career and business,  personal growth and development, family and friends.

On the negative: I’ve made little or no progress in my environment (home office is on hold), health and fitness, and finances.

So why does it seem that I didn’t accomplish anything?  Because two of my goals were not accomplished.  Two goals that need to be my top priority.  Does anyone else struggle with this? All other accomplishments  are disregarded when  the two you really wanted to  mark as complete remain on the to do list. Which lead to the next question, how do I escape this vicious cycle?

I want to do better in August. This is why I evaluate what worked and what didn’t.  We keep what works and discard the rest. I was behind on my planner, but this afternoon I will be marking my new goals page, tracking my level 10 Life, setting up my schedule for blog posts and  general daily entries.

This seems to be my saving grace amidst a sea of turmoil. That is the reason  I sing the praises of my bullet journal. I’ve kept a planner for years, but somewhere into the year I quit on it. My bullet journal has helped me quit quitting!

Speaking of that, it’s time for me to tackle one of the areas I’ve neglected, my domestic goddess duties.

Write on my friends, write on!

 

 

It’s Never That Simple


I know some of you were already thinking it when you read my earlier post made  at 12:10 this morning. I can  hear the gears grinding in Cassidy’s head from here.

I can hear all of the old adages. Just wait. Don’t count your chickens before they are hatched. Don’t have the celebratory “toot toot” too soon.

*head desk*

Most of us are self-aware enough to know when we’ve done a good job, a mediocre job, a not up to par job,  and especially when we’ve half-assed it.   I’m not  pleased with the last edit job for the amount of time that it’s taken me to complete. I was thorough, I gave  the author  quality work but it wasn’t timely.

On this course manual however, I knew I did an excellent job.  It’s thorough, concise, and completed with a spirit of excellence. Their words, not mine.  In fact, they were so impressed. . . .   yeah when you hear those words and you’re getting praise for a job well done,  there is a moment of panic because you know it’s coming.  You know.

Blah blah blah, pat on the job,  blah blah job well done, we knew we could count on you to produce quality work, blah blah –  I can’t really tell you what the other stuff was after that because that’s when it hit me.  OH NO.

NO NO NO NO NO! What else? There is always  the next thing when you do good work. Don’t get me wrong,   I absolutely believe that we should do our best and not slack off.  This is how it works in the business world.  You do a good job you get promoted.  Your work gets noticed, you get the raise.  You want your name tied to quality. Isn’t that one of our goals to secure future work?  YES! Yes it is and that’s the problem.

I blame myself for the short sightedness. I didn’t look past this job to the “what next”.  I entered the “deadline game”.  Give me a minute to breathe and I’ll get to the point.

I have been so focused on the deadlines of these projects that I  overbooked myself. (Yes, again.) Savannah over at EBB called me on it last month.  I  never put myself as a priority. That’s what I was working towards, making time for me to write and pursue my dreams.  Time to write what I want to write. That block of time I carved out for ME. AS soon as I finish these jobs that I have hanging over my head. . . . the deadline looms on the horizon. . .  and I was short sighted not even thinking past that deadline other than ” block of time for me”!

“We are so impressed with the job that you did on this manual that we’d like for you to take this project to the next step as well. If that  goes well, we’d like for you to take a look at some other  publications as well. ”

I should have seen this coming. That’s what I’m upset about. Also, I have a problem saying no.  I said I’d do it, but I gave them a  super long time table as to how long it would take me to finish so that I can still have blocks of time for writing. They are just child sized blocks now.